Explosive and Controversial Memoir by Dennis J. Schleicher

More on Coming-Out

2011-11-17T15:17:00.000-05:00

More on Coming Out
For people of a certain age, initial attempts at coming out are most likely awkward at best and devastating at worst. First there was the struggle to become comfortable enough whit your own sexuality to actually talk about it with a close friend, confidante or at best someone you meet online. Then there were the conversations themselves tentative mumblings, explosions of guilt, bursts of jubilation, or stammering combinations of all three. Finally, most memorable of all, there was the stunned silence that often greeted the big "confession." All this drama made a certain sense.

Coming Out is NOT for everyone!!! But for some it’s the only choice and for others, it will never be an option.
Tell us your coming out story???

Do you feel like you’re living a lie? Are you keeping a secret from your family and friends?

2011-02-04T11:46:00.000-05:00

Do you feel like you’re living a lie? Are you keeping a secret from your family and friendsAre you ready to come clean and share your story? From the Producers of the hit show “Intervention” and a Major Cable Network comes a new documentary series about people who live double lives. Help & Support for Gay Husbands. We are searching for people that are keeping a major secret from their loved ones, co-workers and friends.In the documentary TV series we will explore the worlds of everyday people who are living a double life and how, through the help of a therapist, their lives change after they expose their secret.
This is a positive show providing expert help. Those who are selected to participate will receive monetary comensation and free therapy. Anyone and everyone who meets the criteria is encouraged to apply. Have friends that need help? Tell us about it and how it is affecting your life keeping the lie for them. If you are keeping a major secret from the ones you love the most and would like some help sharing your story, please email a brief description of your situation to: casting.jennifer@gmail.comPlease also include the following:NameLocation / CityContact Number(s)Photo*This is a Nationwide Casting

Fulfillment of Your Desires ~ Harnessing the Infinite Power of Truth, Being Honest

2011-01-13T12:13:00.000-05:00

We all have a deep longing then unforeseen events conspire to manifest it as a partnership with a woman. Gay Husband!
I’ve seen others come up with solutions to life big challenge. Most of us simply dismiss these events as events as coincidence. The mistake is made not taking a closer look, for the word “coincidence” means happening at the same time, and these moments are actually glimpses of a place where everything happens at the same time, or synchronistically, a place where our past and present future are one.

Tell us what you have done to be honest in filling your every desire.

Ricky Martin ~ My Secret Life as a Gay Man Coming OUT

2010-12-10T13:27:00.000-05:00

Ricky Martin ~ in his new book the singer reveals his lifelong struggles with his sexuality and explains how fatherhood gave him the courage to come out. He spent years denying the truth about his sexuality. In a candid memoir and interview, the singer reveals how having kids, coming out finding love! Have made him happy at last.
“I feel very strong,” says Martin (in September). “It took me a while, many years of running away from real emotions that were very natural.”
Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher Author of;
<p$1></p>
Tell us What you Think?

New York gubernatorial hopeful slams gays - Anti-gay NYC attack laced with hate speech

2010-10-11T13:13:00.000-04:00

Paladino: Kids shouldn't be 'brainwashed' into thinking homosexuality is acceptable

By ELIZABETH A. HARRIS

The Republican candidate for governor, Carl P. Paladino, told a gathering in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, on Sunday that children should not be “brainwashed” into thinking that homosexuality was acceptable, and criticized his opponent, Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo, for marching in a gay pride parade earlier this year.

Addressing Orthodox Jewish leaders, Mr. Paladino described his opposition to same-sex marriage.

“That’s not how God created us,” he said, reading from a prepared address.

“I just think my children and your children would be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family, and I don’t want them brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option — it isn’t.”

And then, to applause at Congregation Shaarei Chaim, he said: “I didn’t march in the gay parade this year — the gay pride parade this year. My opponent did, and that’s not the example we should be showing our children.” Newsday.com reported that Mr. Paladino’s prepared text had included the sentence: “There is nothing to be proud of in being a dysfunctional homosexual.” But Mr. Paladino omitted the sentence in his speech.

Read more on MSNBC
& Post your Comments – Tell Us What YOU Thing???

Be Safe- Dennis Schleicher
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries (Best-selling author of an explosives and controversial memoir)

Right now in America there are over 2 Million Couples Secretly Struggling with Homosexuality in Their Marriages with Gay Husbands. Are you One of Them? Is He Gay?

2010-10-01T14:36:00.000-04:00

Right now in America there are over 2 Million Couples Secretly Struggling with Homosexuality in Their Marriages. Are you One of Them? Is He Gay?

From http://www.christwire.org/ Conservative Values for an Unsaved World

The views of Christ Wire are not necessarily those of Other Man Support. Make this interactive by posting your anonymous comments and opinions below!!!

Are you having intimacy issues? Are you suspicious about your husband’s late night activities? Or are you oblivious to a problem that could be putting your health and the livelihood of your family at risk? Don’t tell yourself that you’re simply being paranoid without taking a closer look!

Homosexuality can pop up at any time during a long-term relationship. Your spouse may have been experimenting with the “gay” lifestyle even before you met. Maybe he’s just using you as unwitting cover as he seeks playmates in the heterosexual world. For these types, the shame of being “outed” is so great that they will go to extremes to hide their lustful activities, even tricking a woman to marry them to appear normal in society. Sometimes it’s the nervous family who has rushed a young man into marriage out of a fear that his secret will be exposed. For others, homosexuality can appear later in life when men crave some escape from the monotony of careers and home life. Same-sex experimentation is also connected to drug or alcohol abuse. Crystal meth and other narcotics are proven to lower inhibitions and to drive people to take incredible risks to feed their habits.

For the wife unsure about her husband’s proclivities, the most important thing is to first confirm your suspicions. Drawing on the expertise of spiritual and medical professionals, Christwire has put together a list of 15 commonly-accepted characteristics of men struggling with homosexuality within a marriage:

1) Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers

Porn addiction is closely associated with homosexuality and a secretive nature implies he’s trying to hide something from you. Be on the lookout for a man who doesn’t want to web surf or answer phone calls in your presence. Texting is another favorite trick used by adulterers. For the sake of trust, a married couple should share everything, including phone logs, email accounts, chat friends and website histories.

2) Looks at other men in a flirtatious way

When you’re out in public, does he spend too much time looking at other men? Is he fond of winking at people? Does he get visibly upset when someone does not return a compliment about his physical appearance?

3) Feigning attention in church and prayer groups

Have you noticed a lack of interest in spiritual issues? Does it ever seem as if he’s just using church as an excuse to spend time around young men? Does he volunteer to mentor in all-male groups?
4) Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home

Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell. Homosexuals often abhor this sort of thing and will also be incredibly particular about the cleanliness of the home. Does your man tweeze his eyebrows, trim his pubic hairs or use face moisturizers? Is he picky about brand name shampoos? Does he spend more time getting ready for a night out than you do?
5) Gym membership but no interest in sports

Gay men use the gym as a place to socialize and to have secret liaisons in the bathrooms. They like to work out their bodies without the competition of sports play. Afterward, they use the showers and steam rooms to engage in sexual activity beyond the prying eyes of women. If your man returns from the gym too exhausted to talk or have sex, that is a worrisome sign.

6) Clothes that are too tight and too “trendy”

Gay men don’t need words to communicate their availability for sex “hook ups.” They silently broadcast the news by showing off their lean, hard bodies in designer clothing labels. If your husband owns skinny jeans and looks at his buttocks in the mirror or if he wears an inordinate number of small-sized t-shirts, it is probably worthwhile to pay more attention to his private activities.
7) Strange sexual demands

Fetishism is a sign that a man is seeking a harder thrill beyond the normal intimacy of heterosexual relations. The woman may not appeal to the deep desires that are coming to the surface as the marriage drags on. If there is a sudden interest in sodomy, sadomasochism, lubricants, role-play, sex toys or other non-traditional intercourse methods, this is clearly an indication of deep emotional abnormalities.
8) More interested in the men than the women in pornographic films

Pornography is a dangerous element in any marriage but there are many Christians who feel watching it does add something to their sexual lives. If you have gone down this road and find that your man perks up at the sight of the men in these sorts of videos, you should be concerned. If he selects films because of specific male actors, this is an obvious sign that he is suffering from a crisis of ego and desire.
9) Travels frequently to big cities or Asia

Some husbands will spend a great deal of money traveling far from home to hide their deplorable same-sex actions. Big cities offer indulgence of every kind. From gay bars and clubs to prostitutes and sex bathhouses, a man seeking encounters can find them easily if he’s so inclined. Is there ever really a good excuse for a husband to visit Thailand or San Francisco without his wife?
10) Too many friendly young male friends

Someone who makes an extra effort to surround themselves with younger men should raise concerns in any community. If this is the case with your husband, ask yourself if he prefers their company to that of women. Do they touch each other or embrace in long hugs? Do they exchange expensive, personal gifts like scarves or cologne?
11) Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends

A man who is secretly engaged in homosexual activity with others may exhibit feminine qualities when they get together in a group. In a sense, he has “let his hair down” and this will be seen in excessive back talk and speaking with one’s hands.
12) Love of pop culture

It’s quite common for young men to enjoy the science fiction end of popular culture, but when your husband becomes overly obsessed with romantic and feminine shows, that is cause for alarm. Gossip Websites, Glee, and The Golden Girls are three well-documented icons of the gay movement that genuine heterosexual men avoid.
13) Extroverted about his bare chest in public

Does he go shirtless in the back yard or at picnics when other men are around? Does he wear a speedo at the beach? Does it seem like he’s purposely standing right in the middle of a crowd to show off his chest and arm muscles, peppering people with questions about how strong he looks? He may be craving physical affirmation from other men and desperately looking for hints of shared desires in those around him.
14) Sudden heavy drinking

Sometimes people dealing with an unbearable emotional issue like homosexuality will turn to alcohol to hide their distress. Does your man disappear on drinking binges for long hours without answering his cellphone? Is there a strange odor about him when he returns, some strange mix of cigarettes and gel? Does he cry frequently?

15) Ladies, have you dated men in the past who turned out to be gay?

This is an important question to ask yourself when your marriage starts to have problems. Statistics have shown that women who have encountered gay men romantically in the past are the most likely to repeat this mistake in future relationships. If you answered yes, you should ask yourself whether you’re honestly looking for a man or just a shopping companion. Is sharing gossip more important to you than raising children? Ultimately, it’s a question of getting your priorities straight!

If your a gay man and need support for your straight wife; http://www.gayhusbands.com/

http://christwire.org/2010/08/is-my-husband-gay

Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Fed up with the Fact that Men have a Shorter Shelf Life than Sushi? Straight Acting by Angelo Pezzote

2010-09-19T12:08:00.002-04:00

Fed up with the Fact that Men have a Shorter Shelf Life than Sushi? Straight Acting by Angelo Pezzote

Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love

Finding, let alone building, a strong relationship can still be challenging for gay men. The reason? Masculinity. All men, gay or straight, have been socialized to believe that to be overtly gay is unmanly and shameful. To compensate, many gay men adopt a macho, "straight acting" pose that blocks them from being their full selves, expressing their true feelings and forging real, lasting connections.

In Straight Acting, Angelo Pezzote (AskAngelo.com) encourages readers to go beyond limiting ideas of how "real" men should behave, and leave behind out-dated ways of being that create stumbling blocks to deeper intimacy. Drawing on his years of experience as a gay psychotherapist and advice columnist, he offers practical and thoughtful relationship strategies, with tips on subjects that include coming out, dating, how to avoid falling for a player, how to maintain a sizzling, satisfying sex life, navigating open relationships, and much more. Most of all, he delivers crucial insights on the importance of ditching the macho act and learning to be true to yourself. Whether you're single and sick of it, wanting to move closer to your partner, or wondering how to meet someone for the very first time, let Angelo show you how to get real and get him. Put yourself out there to get--and keep--the love you want.

"There is no such thing as a 'real man,' only millions of men -- straight and gay -- trying to convince themselves and others that they have the right stuff. In Straight Acting, Angelo Pezzote peers behind the curtain to uncover the human costs of this relentless masculine performance. His immediate concern is gay men, but all men who seek love, intimacy, and most of all self-respect can benefit from the honesty and wisdom in these pages.”

I encourage all to order Straight Acting
Be Safe & Post Your Comments?
-Dennis Schleicher
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love By Angelo Pezzote
http://otherman.typepad.com/

An Escrow Account Has Been Set Up To Help with Legal Fees for Divorces Of Gay Husbands and Straight Wives

2010-07-14T19:22:00.001-04:00

An Escrow Account Has Been Set Up To Help with Legal Fees for Divorces Of Gay Husbands and Straight Wives

Due to popular demand and an overwhelming response from our readers I have been asked to start an escrow account to help assist with legal fees gay husbands and straight wives might incur during divorce and separation. I will keep you all up to date as to the amount of money we have raised I have started with the first donation of $100 from myself to the escrow account. This is how your donations will go to work:

• Legal fees to help pay for divorces when a husband comes out to his wife

• Legal fees to the straight spouse if she cannot afford representation

• Therapy & counseling sessions for uninsured straight spouses or gay husbands

• Therapy & counseling sessions for children and any family member affected

If you are in need of financial assistance please e-mail or call Dennis Schleicher directly. Thank you for all of your support.

Be safe,
Dennis Schleicher

Pain, Hurt, Becoming the Other Man or Person in a Controversial Promises of Love-Getting Involved with a Married Man or Woman

2010-07-07T07:37:00.001-04:00

Pain, Hurt, Becoming the Other Man or Person in a Controversial Promises of Love-Getting Involved with a Married Man or Woman

By Dennis Schleicher

Periodically, myself the author of an explosives and controversial memoir “Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-Mail Diaries.” and founder of several support groups on Gay-Bi Husbands and international lecturer, I receive a lot of personal and very private e-mails & phone calls from the “other man” or the “other woman”. These terms, because of their link to an affair outside the marriage, tend to have a stigma attached to them. Perhaps their rights will change with time.

These people, emotionally or romantically attached to another person who is already married, are often more concerned about the well being of that person, than about their own well being. That is ok to a point, but there is an old saying:

“Never, ever get involved with a married person”

This paints a particularly black picture, but this is deliberate.

Many single people become the “other person” in a love triangle because of what their heart is telling them, but more often than not, because they do not know the whole truth about their new friend, who has withheld the information that they are already married. This is where the lies start. They are not necessarily intentional lies - they are what they want the other person to hear.

With the discovery of the marital status, there could be promises that the married person will leave their spouse and children, and come and live with the “other man or person”. Such promises are rarely fulfilled. If anyone has, tell us your story by posting a comment on this Blog?

The reason for never ever getting involved with a married person is that in the majority of cases, the married person will never leave the marital nest unless forced to do so. They want their cake and eat it too.

This can lead to a lot of pain and hurt for the “other man”, to frustration and to lost time, when they could be perhaps finding someone else who is not married to spend their life with.

So think twice, unless you are married yourself, to becoming the “other man”. That “other person–man” has feelings just like anyone else. Trust me. I was there. I have a published diary-book to prove it…!!!

Be Safe-

Dennis J. Schleicher

Author of "Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries"

Power of Fear Leading to Closeted Gay Bi Married Husbands

2010-07-03T15:35:00.002-04:00

Power of Fear Leading to Closeted Gay Bi Married Husbands

Power of fear is at the basis of all negative emotions and actions. It is why we lie, why we argue and have to be right all the time. It’s the reason behind some people’s needs to be in control. It is the reason why people steal and the list goes on and on. Controlling people are just very fearful people. They may project a strong fearless front but that exactly what it is, it’s a front. They need to control their environment which generally plays out into their relationships as well because they become anxious or fearful if they things are not within their comfort zone. I believe by knowing this about people it can empower you because you are likely actually stronger and less fearful than they are in reality. Fear is the reason also of course why people choose to go into the closet, get married, developed a family or a house with a white picket fence in the SUV parked in the driveway and parked next to our BMW’s otherwise referred to as status symbols.

A quote from chapter two of my memoir, “Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries,” “typically, most children are brought up in a society where finding love in the opposite sex is bred into them. They are taught to start a courtship, which will eventually lead to marriage and later on, children, a house with a white picket fence, a dog, an SUV and a double income family.”

Fearing that we may lose the love and companionship that all humans need for healthy emotional survival on many levels, because society has deemed this so. I believe it is a healthy and productive exercise to whenever you are feeling dis-ease or discomfort to know that it is about fear. Therefore it is important that we take the time and trace back through our thoughts what it is that we are in fear of that is causing this discomfort. Generally what we fear is the not knowing of the outcome of a circumstance which is again why gay people generally go into the closet at least at first. Some obviously for longer periods and end up following social expectations and marry causing more victims of our fears. Being fearful can lead us to be deceptive and dishonest in our communications with others, leading to closeted gay Bi married men.

The most unfortunate issue about this is, we then don’t really have truly open hearted, rich and fulfilling relationships with people leaving us lonely in our private thoughts. It is when we interact with people using our hearts we become less fearful and have more joyful lives. Leave the brain to math, science and technology when it comes to matters of relationships. Use your heart openly and without fear as best you can. It takes practice.

Most generally what we fear as I stated is the consequence of what may happen if I were truthful. The consequence is almost never as bad as we expect it to be. We need to ask ourselves what is our greatest fear if I am honest. What is the very worst thing that can happen we need to ask ourselves? Can we then survive the consequence of being truthful about our true selves and our true thoughts? The answer to that is, of course we can survive. There may be a period of discomfort. Even serious discomfort but we will survive. People that choose suicide rather than being truthful about their true selves are choosing a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

It is also a self act because it leaves the survivors unable to heal because they will always wonder what they could have done differently to prevent the tragedy. Always remember is not always necessary to be right. To we want peace or to we want to be right? Pick your battles carefully and use civility throughout the conflict resolution process. Never name call. That is about control which is another word for fear. Our fear in conflicts in not being right is generally about looking or feeling foolish. You actually look more foolish by maintaining that you are right when it’s obvious that you are not and you are being foolish if it is a silly disagreement anyway. Be true to yourself and you will then be able to be true to others. For those of you that cannot build up the courage to come out to those you love and are a integral part of your lives you are cheating yourself and them of really knowing each other’s hearts and souls. When you are out you will not have to edit you life anymore which is not only demeaning but exhausting. Your true self has just as much value as anyone. So come on people. Start asking yourself some of these questions. You can handle the outcome of the truth when it is revealed I promise.

Be Safe-

Dennis J. Schleicher

Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Don’t Tell My Wife - Fears Facts Shame, Behind Unstable Relationships as “Straight” Closet Case Married Gay Husbands Tell All

2010-06-15T19:13:00.001-04:00

Don’t Tell My Wife - Fears Facts Shame, Behind Unstable Relationships as “Straight” Closet Case Married Gay Husbands Tell All

By Dennis Schleicher

When does it all falls apart in a straight or gay relationship?

Gay men regularly get lambasted for having short-term flings. Known for unstable relationships, but the same complaint about couples being flighty, unstable, and quick to break up is leveled by many foreigners against all that gay is just not long-term. They think we don’t take our vows seriously, that we’re not willing to stick it out, our emotions switch on or off.

In truth the same happens in the ‘straight’ world. The straight’s have a high divorce rate as we have only one simple explanation: Straights crash and burn fast, decide it’s time to cut our loss and break it off as this marriage is going nowhere “It’s over,” “I’m done!” How many times have we’ve heard that?

Married Husbands Now Tell All;

I talk to straight men about their “secret” gay lives 360 day a year. In my last support group I held I asked our men what would you tell others drifting in your boat?

Husband #1. “Don’t take the advice from someone who has always been gay. I was told a lot that I had to come out; it was really urgent that I do it; that I was being unfair to everybody. But it’s not. Wait for the time that you know is right to tell your wife and others if and when you want.”

Husband #2. “It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done but the most rewarding because I’m really happy now.”

Husband #3. “I will never come out to my wife. She will never know I have sex with other men. I don’t think of myself as gay, bi, just having fun as the sex with men is better than a woman.”

Men who have sex with men is not necessarily a bridge to coming out as gay. In some cases it will occasionally have a bit of gay sex but it’s not been a step to being gay. I don’t know what part of their sexuality needs it, they just do.

Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Tell us what you think?

What is The Straight Spouse Network? How Can it Help in Coming Out for Gay Husbands?

2010-06-08T13:34:00.000-04:00

What is the Straight Spouse Network? How can it Help in Coming Out?
The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) is an international organization that provides personal, confidential support and information to heterosexual spouses/partners, current or former, of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates and mixed-orientation couples for constructively resolving coming-out problems. SSN also offers research-based information about spouse, couple, and family issues and resources to other family members, professionals, community organizations, and the public. SSN is the only support network of its kind in the world.

As outreach, the network offers information about spouse and family issues, mixed orientation marriages and spouse resources to professionals, community organizations and the media.

To find out about support groups or individual contacts near you, please visit; http://www.straightspouse.org/ to request information.

• 53 support groups in the US and other countries

• Spouse contacts individual sharing in USA & some foreign countries

• Eight online support groups, most with chats and webs attached

• Strictly nonprofit

• Funded by tax deductible donations

To find out more go to The Straight Spouse Network
Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher
Best-Selling Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Post your Comments;

Poll Finds Rise in Gay Marriage Approval by Advocate.com Editors

2010-05-25T12:33:00.000-04:00

Poll Finds Rise in Gay Marriage Approval

By Advocate.com Editors
A nine-percentage-point difference now exists between supporters and opponents of marriage equality, a new Gallup poll discovered.

Gallup's latest findings indicate 53% of Americans do not believe same-sex marriage should be recognized as valid by law, while 44% believe it should. In 2009, 57% of Americans stated gay marriage should not be legal, while 40% said the opposite.

Opposition to gay marriage is now tied for the lowest level ever recorded by Gallup — in 2007, 53% of Americans also said gay marriage should not be legalized. As far as support, 2007 also was a good year for marriage equality, with 46% voicing approval. Since then, support for marriage equality dipped before picking up this year.

Gallup's "bottom line" for its poll was thus: "Over time, Americans have become more accepting of legal same-sex marriage, and a growing number of subgroups now show majority support for it. However, religious and conservative segments of the U.S. population remain largely opposed — even though their support for gay marriage has also increased in recent years. Because religious and conservative groups are larger than nonreligious and left-leaning groups in the United States, overall, more Americans remain opposed to, rather than in favor of, same-sex marriage."

When Gallup first asked about the legality of gay marriage in 1996, 68% of Americans were opposed and 27% in favor.

-Dennis Schleicher
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Tell Us What You Think, Post your Comments;

Support Group for Married Bi Gay Men in a Committed Relationship with a Straight Woman – Gay Husband Support

2010-05-22T05:08:00.000-04:00

Support Group for Married Bi Gay Men in a Committed Relationship with a Straight Woman – Gay Husband Support

This is a group that has been meeting in Hartford for over 30 years. We have a tradition of providing a safe confidential place for men who are or have been married or in a committed relationship with a woman, to discuss their feelings, worries and confusion around their sexual feelings or behavior toward men.

We provide a non-sexual environment which is judgment free, and has no outcomes in mind for anyone. This is not a "coming out" group, but just a safe place for gentlemen to discuss their journey with men in the same circumstances. This is a support group not a therapy group.

If you are married or have been married or in a committed relationship with a woman, having an internal struggle with your sexual attraction to men which is contrary, perhaps, to the way you have viewed yourself and seems contrary to your values;

If you feel you are alone in the struggle and would like to be able to talk with other men about it;

If you find yourself doing things which are dangerous and could get you into trouble with your family, work place and community;

Then you might benefit from the Hartford support group. This confidential group meets twice a month. Some men come regularly while some drop in from time to time when the going gets rough.

It takes one phone call to a group facilitator to sit down with him and explore whether you might benefit from coming to the group.

Call Dave at 203-630-1359 or Bob at 860-521-1507
Hartford's Support Group for bisexual Married Men WebSite

BMMA website; Bisexual Married Men of America - Safer Sex.org
Be Safe- Dennis Schleicher Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
Post your Comments;

Who is (BMMA) Bisexual Married Men of America - Offer Support, Suggestions, Affirmation, Challenges or Further Questions about Coming Out or Not

2010-05-20T16:03:00.000-04:00

Who is (BMMA) Bisexual Married Men of America - Offer Support, Suggestions, Affirmation, Challenges or Further Questions about Coming Out or Not

Some of us are bisexual, some of us are gay, and some of us are trying to figure out who or what we are. Most of us are married, some of us are engaged to be married, some are separated, divorced or widowed. We are mostly living in North America, but we have members in countries around the world.

As bisexual and gay married men we face unique challenges in life unlike gay or bisexual single men. Whether we are in or out of the closet, we face discrimination everyday of our lives. We are accused of "fence sitting" by heterosexuals and homosexuals. If we are closeted, we must hide our feelings from our wives and others. If we are out, we must find a way to incorporate our feelings into our marriages and families whether or not we act on them. Some of us who are out have tremendously supportive wives. Others have had their marriages and families destroyed. Some of us have even lost our jobs.

How BMMA Functions Today's technology allows one to participate in a vast array of electronic media, including this group. BMMA is an email list-serve which offers a unique way of dealing with the challenges we face daily. Messages posted by email to BMMA are read by our hundreds of members. Those who wish to offer support, suggestions, affirmation, challenges or further questions can post their response to the mailing list for all to see, or they may write to the original poster privately, off the list. Although friendships and even loves have developed between men who met through the list, BMMA is not a place to post personal ads. You may sign on to the mailing list and "lurk" for as long as you like. We hope you will soon feel like joining in the ongoing conversations, or begin a new "thread" of your own.

When you first post to the list, we suggest you start with a brief introduction of yourself. Share that which you are comfortable making public: Your first name or a nick-name, what part of the country (or world) you live in, your marital status, whether or not you are out to anyone, etc. You will find all BMMA brothers are or have been in a similar situation, and deeply respect one's need for confidentiality and/or anonymity. The group has the potential for large volumes of mail, but a digest format is available. In the digest format you receive one email each day that contains all the posts in the prior 24 hours. Under the regular format you receive each message as it is posted. This group has proven very effective and has changed many lives for the better. Welcome to a world you never knew existed!

BMMA website; Bisexual Married Men of America - Safer Sex.org
Be Safe- Dennis Schleicher Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
Website; Support for The Other Man, Wives of Gay Men & Husbands of Straight Wives
Post your Comments;

Marriage is Between a Straight Man, a Woman – and a Mistress

2010-05-18T18:25:00.000-04:00

Marriage is between a Straight Man, a Woman – and a Mistress
By Jennifer Vanasco, editor in chief, http://www.365gay.com/
Rep. Mark Souder – a Republican – is resigning because he had an affair with a female staffer. So perhaps it’s not a surprise that he’s also a proponent of marriage being only between a man and a woman. He voted to Constitutionally ban gay marriage because, he says, it’s an assault on American values.
From Souder's Website
“I believe that Congress must fight to uphold the traditional values that undergird the strength of our nation. The family plays a fundamental role in our society. Studies consistently demonstrate that it is best for a child to have a mother and father, and I am committed to preserving traditional marriage, the union of one man and one woman.”
So…mistresses are OK. But two gay people in a committed relationship? That’s anti-American. So far, he hasn’t blamed gay marriage in DC for weakening his own marriage – but that’s gotta be the next step.

Is Gay In? Tell us what you think?

Dennis Schleicher - Best-Selling Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

How Many Gay People are There In The United States? Is Gay In?

2010-05-18T14:13:00.001-04:00

How many gay people are there in the USA?

The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law, a sexual orientation law and public policy think tank, estimates that there are 8.8 million gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons in the U.S based on the 2005/2006 American Community Survey, an extension of the U.S. Census (Gary J. Gates, 2006, "Same-Sex Couples and the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Population: New Estimates from the American Community Survey").

The number of LGB persons in the U.S. is subjective. Studies pointing to the statistics are estimates at best. The most widely accepted statistic is that 1 in ever 10 individuals is LGB; however research shows that the number may be more like 1 in 20.

Of course, this all depends on one's definition of gay? (which may vary by study) and the participant’s willingness to identify as GAY, BI, LESBIAN. So, why can't the actual number of GLB people be counted? There are many thinks to consider when trying to count the number of GLBT persons. The biggest is most are still married with a wife and kids living a life of troubled times. “Walking on eggshells,” is what one married man said in our support group.

What do the experts say?

When asked about GLB population statistics, Gary J. Gates, a Senior Research Fellow at The Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy, says:

"That's the single question that I'm asked the most. The answer is unfortunately not simple. I'll respond with a question. What do you mean when you use the word 'gay'? If you mean people who identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual in a survey, then the answer is that it's likely not one in ten, but closer to one in twenty. A recent government survey found that 4 percent of adults aged 18-45 identified as 'homosexual' or 'bisexual.' A similar proportion of voters identify as GLB. If you define gay as having same-sex attractions or behaviors, you do get higher proportions that are a bit closer to the one in ten figure."

Is Gay In? Tell us what you think?
Dennis Schleicher - Best-Selling Author of;
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Why Gay Husbands Have Long Term Difficulty with Sex, Love, Romantic, and Suffer Rejection in Life

2010-05-04T20:55:00.001-04:00

Why Gay Husbands Have Long Term Difficulty with Sex, Love, Romantic, and Suffer Rejection in Life
By Dennis Schleicher

This is now my 5th year working with Gay husbands, straight wives of gay men, and guys in love with gay married men, (The Other Man.) The difficulty gay men married men have sustaining serious, long-term romantic partnerships through the years that have kept many gay, or so-called Bi men in the closed form coming out as ‘gay.’ Up against society's prejudice against homosexual love, I have observes, they've separated sex and love form their wives. As adolescents, gay men suffered the rejection of unrequited affection, but most formatively, they sustained emotional damage in childhood from paternal rejection and/or maternal inattentiveness to their feelings or disregard for their need for autonomy. The result is an inability to fall or stay in love, arising from deep-seated anxiety about dependency, lack of self-love and mistrust of another's love that leads to gay, Bi, men feel and think that getting married to a women ‘will make them straight guys with wives.’

In the past 5 years I’ve analyzes dozens of case histories of chronically married gay male patients, tracing their attachment difficulties to childhood experiences with remote, rejecting or smothering parents. Though my married men’s support group being homosexual, weighs in on the same-sex marriage debate with the fear of coming out. Secondary argument—that the lack of a formally sanctioned structure further undermines gay commitment of a gay husband holds a real fear a complicated, cultural analysis will be frustrated.

The gay husbands will never find by his own reasoning the important emphasis on happiness found in a gay long term, loving relationships that can existed. The long term difficulty is the truth for any gay husband that will never come out of the closet and his mental health will be compromised for life as he lives a life of lies and dishonesty.

It is never too late to break free form a straight wife and let her free as you can find a romantic, loving gay relationship with no shame.
Be Safe-
Dennis
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries (Best-selling author of an explosives and controversial memoir )

Post your Options and Comments;

Why Do Same-Sex Attracted Men Marry Women?

2010-05-01T06:43:00.001-04:00

Why Do Same-Sex Attracted Men Marry Women?

Q; Dear Dennis, Why did my husband of 18 years marry me knowing he was a gay man? My gay husband just came out to me last week and I do not understand why he married me?

A; This is what I have found with my 4 years of working with gay husbands, straight wives as to just some of the reasons why same-sex attracted men marry women include;

• Wanting a traditional family life that includes raising children

• Homophobia or a fear of being gay or recognized as being a gay person

• Compliance with social norms and family and peer expectations

• Holding the belief that homosexuality is abnormal or unnatural and believing that marriage will ‘cure’ same-sex attractions

• Growing up within a strongly religious family or ethnic culture that views homosexuality as immoral or wrong

The growing acceptance of a diversity of relationships other than traditional marriage is providing a safer environment for same-sex attracted men to create lives that are more consistent with their social, sexual and relationship preferences. Legislation has been changed in some states to recognize same-sex relationships and remove areas of discrimination. However, there is more work to be done, particularly in relation to the right of same-sex couples to have children and raise families.

Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Post Your Comments for out Readers;

My Husband Says He's Gay - What Should I Do? Is He Gay, Bi, or Needs Help?

2010-04-29T22:27:00.000-04:00

My Husband Says He's Gay - What should I do? Is He Gay, Bi, or Needs Help?

Q; Dear Dennis, My husband of many years has just dropped the bomb that he’s attracted to men and he says he just might not be gay. I’m a big mess, sort of frozen in my own tracks. I’ve sent this e-mail to other’s and would love what you have to say? What should I do?

A; As hard as it is for one partner in any relationship to come out to the other as gay or bisexual, receiving this news can be awful hard, too understand. No doubt, your husband gave this “Coming Out” conversation a lot of thought before he told you the truth. You could feel lucky that he was truthful about his coming out as a gay married husband. Often time the wife is left in the dark for every. I talk to many wives who have no clue or suspicion about a man or husband being gay.

As frozen or angry you could be feeling, my advice to you is to try and go ahead with your life, I know that’s easy said than doing. Consider contacting your local www.StraightSpouse.org or www.PFLAG.orgn (Parents Friends of Lesbians & Gays.)

Now it’s time to get a divorce. Get tested for any and all STD’s. You are not alone, as there’s a wealth of advice and so many other women or as I say “Straight Wives” out for you to talk with.

May I ask, why did he tell you that’s he is a gay man?

Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Send your questions to Dennis Schleicher @ DennisSchleicher@hotmail.com or visit our website, http://www.OtherMan.typepad.com/ - http://theOtherManSupport.blogspot.com/ - http://GayHusbands.wordpress.com/ - http://www.TantricTalk.blogspot.com/

Post your comments;

Coming Out Stories as a Gay Husband who Need Help and our Support

2010-04-08T16:05:00.000-04:00

Coming Out Stories as a Gay Husband who Need Help and our Support

“This was an E-mail from one of the guys in my support group. With his blessing he said it okay for me to post this to our blog for other Gay Husbands and Other Man Support to see and hopefully this will help. This is his story;”

Coming out as a Gay Husband is among the most controversial and sensitive issues in the realm of homosexuality, especially within countries and societies where same sex relations are being frowned upon, if not loathed. Even in a country as liberal and as open minded as the United States, hundreds of gay and bisexual men and women are still confused whether or not to reveal their sexuality, more so even face it. While films, literature, and mass media have been very supportive of the aims of gay liberation, and bombarding the world with different projects that encourage homosexual people to come out, truth is when the case is zoomed in on the personal, individual level, the difficulty, anxiety, fear and frustration of disclosing one’s self are really overwhelming for anyone like myself who‘s a gay husband with a great wife and two beautiful children.

Coming out stories, whether in print, radio, television, and online, are very helpful to gays and bisexuals who would want to come out but do not know how. These stories, drawn from real lives, show a wide range of cases of fear in coming out, among them being an only son, having a religious family, coming from a high-profile clan, belonging to a homophobic school or office, and many others. Dennis’s coming out stories in is book Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-Mail Diaries has inspire gay men and women to come to terms with themselves and be comfortable and happy with who they are. Their continuous emergence in the media help forward the acceptance and equality that the gay population deserves, and wash away conservative, close-minded and prosecuting notions against homosexuality and queerness.

Coming out stories should not be seen as propagandas that make gay people grab megaphones and announce to the world their preference for the same sex. In fact, within the realm of gay culture itself, “coming out” and its extent are still being debated. It should be noted that coming out is not being done just for the sake of sexual declaration. It is done because gays need to share their loved ones and people important to them the lives that they live and want to live, without lies, without denials, without hiding. I am a gay married husband who needs more like Dennis’s Book to help me. Thank You……

Tell Us Your Stories by Posting your Comments;
Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher

Duct Tape, Breasts and Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta Kim Zolciak Share All for NOH8 Campaign

2010-03-29T18:08:00.000-04:00

On November 4, 2008 Proposition 8 passed in California, amending the state Constitution to ban same-sex marriage. The defeat provoked a groundswell of initiative within the GLBT community at a grassroots level, with many new political and protest organizations being formed in response.

The NOH8 Campaign is a photographic silent protest created by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska (http://www.bouska.net/) and partner Jeff Parshley in direct response to the passage of Proposition 8. Photos feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 and similar legislation around the world, with "NOH8" painted on one cheek in protest.

Nearly one year since its inception, the NOH8 Campaign has grown to over 2,000 faces and continues to grow at an exponential rate. The campaign began with portraits of everyday Californians from all walks of life and soon rose to include politicians, military personnel, newlyweds, law enforcement, artists, celebrities, and many more.

The NOH8 Campaign has received overwhelming support from around the world, appearing on various local and national news programs and publications. The images are currently being used on various social networking sites to spread the message of equality, predominantly Facebook and Twitter. Eventually the images are expected to be compiled for a large-scale media campaign.

Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher author of;
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

What do People type into a Search Engine like Google, Yahoo, Bing, AOL, & so On to find www.OtherMan.typepad.com on Gay Husbands Straight Wives Support

2010-03-24T14:14:00.000-04:00

What do People type into a Search Engine like Google, Yahoo, Bing, AOL, and so On to find http://www.otherman.typepad.com/ on Gay Husbands Straight Wives Support.

With the help of Google Analytics is set up to help me see ways to track traffic and how you find my Blog. I’m able to download records Social Media Optimization: Bit.LY Traffic

To find sites that recently sent my visitors and referrers the time, Page title, referring address, and so much more. This is what you type into Google to find http://www.OtherMan.typepad.com

Ø Husbands who turn gay

Ø Gay husband straight wife

Ø Husbands who turn gay

Ø Is He Gay

Ø Is My Husband Bi

Ø I Think I am a Gay Married Man

Ø How do I tell my Wife I’m Gay

Ø Will my spouse find OUT I’m Gay?

Ø How to spy on your Husband’s sex life

Ø Bisexual escort couple Chicago

Ø Other Man Support

Ø I think the Man I’m dating is Married to a Wife

Ø I sleep with Married men

Ø Sex with other Gay Husbands

Ø Find Support for my Straight Wife

Ø I’m in love with a man who is married

Ø My Husbands Hidden lives or Love Affairs with other Men

This is just what was searched today as this blog can get up to 300 hits a day. Not bad considering most Blogs are lucky to have 2 – 10 per day. Unless your CNN.com or Google.com. I’ll post more as it comes in. Tell Us Your Story, Post Your Comments;

Be Safe –

Dennis Schleicher

Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Twitter Account “Gay Husbands Other Man Support” is Number One with All the Search Rankings like Google

2010-03-16T14:55:00.002-04:00

My Twitter Account “Gay Husbands” is Number One with All the Search Rankings like Google

Recently it came to my attention that my Twitter account is number one in all the search rankings, like Google, Yahoo, BING, AOL, etc. Gay Husbands support has received a lot of media attention in the past few years. I would like to thank the LGBT, as well as the straight community for your support and votes that made; http://twitter.com/GayHusbands number one in all the search rankings.

Be Safe-
http://www.otherman.typepad.com/
Dennis Schleicher best-selling author of an explosives and controversial memoir; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Seniors Reborn, Coming Out GAY Later in Life

2010-03-15T15:55:00.000-04:00

Seniors Reborn, Coming Out Later in Life
By Julie Bolcer Advocate.com News - Seniors Reborn Coming Out

Changing attitudes and increased visibility of LGBT Americans are prompting more and more seniors to come out later in life, a process that is a new subject of study.

The Associated Press reports that people who work with older adults note the trend of seniors coming out, even if no definitive numbers are available. Outings by older stars such as Meredith Baxter, who came out last year at 62, and Richard Chamberlain, who came out in 2003 at 69, inspire some.

“Increased awareness and acceptance of varied sexualities and gender identities has led Americans to come out far younger, as early as middle school,” reports the AP. “A less noticed but parallel shift is happening at the other end of the age spectrum, with people in their 60s, 70s and 80s coming to terms with the truth that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.”

Coming out later in life presents unique challenges for seniors who have denied their true identity for decades, according to the AP.

“Outing yourself late in life can be complicated after having lived through times when being openly gay could get you arrested, put in an institution and given shock treatments. It's snarled in a lifetime of trudging along through society's view of normalcy and the resulting fear of being ostracized by children and grandchildren. And it's marked by a nagging doubt that all the heartache, all the potential for it to go wrong, may not be worth it with one's years numbered.”

Advocates for seniors will meet this week in Chicago for the annual conference of the American Society on Aging.

Dennis's Comments

Outing yourself late in life can be complicated, even if it’s done in your 20s, in many cases where it's taken 50 or more years to acknowledge having lived a suppressed life, this could feel more difficult. Many of the men in our support group contact me in their 60s and 70s, wondering, "how do I come out this late in life?" The choice is not easy, but more are finding acceptance as there are many support groups that can offer guidance and increased awareness of the challenges for seniors or people of all ages to come out and be truthful can face.

Anyone looking for help and support can contact myself or post a confidential message below. The best a resource is your local Gay & Lesbian health collective in your town or county.
Dennis Schleicher best-selling author of an explosives and controversial memoir; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

http://www.otherman.typepad.com/
http://twitter.com/GayHusbands

Sexuality is not Sex; A Great Blog I found on Bisexual Men, Myths, and Support

2010-02-06T13:11:00.001-05:00

www.BiTheWay.co.uk

is a Blog or site I found the other day and find it to have some great information that could help the men in our support group on many questions about Bisexuality. This is what I found on the {About Page} Be Safe - Dennis

Bi The Way

An exploration of male bisexuality;

I’m male, 29, and I’m bisexual. Now that’s not how I’d normally introduce myself, because my sexuality is not the cornerstone of my self-identity. However, for the purposes of this blog its a fitting place to start, because this web site is about exploring male sexuality, in particular male bisexuality.

Bisexuality is a topic that remains largely taboo for a lot of men, despite the fact that there are millions of men out there who find themselves attracted to both men and women. There is a lot of pressure, particularly on young men to either identify themselves as straight or gay, and whilst peer pressure makes it hard to come out as gay, its even more difficult to come out as bisexual as there is no clear peer group where you can turn to support.

So I decided to write this blog for several reasons: The first is to explore my own sexuality. The second is to let others who are struggling with their sexual identity know that they are not alone and there are others out there like them. And finally to educate others and dispel a few myths about bisexuals and bisexuality.

There is a 4th supplemental reason and that is that I was curious to see how easy it was to set-up WordPress on a Windows platform, thanks to Nuclear Internet it was an absolute breeze.

Its also worth pointing out that this is a blog about sexuality not sex, so you won’t find the sordid details of my love life plastered across the world wide web or any sexually explicit images here. So please don’t ask. (Well OK - ask, I’ll be flattered, but you won’t get anything.) That said if you do have any suggestions for the site or questions you’d like to ask please post a comment, this is an interactive web site and your contributions are as important as my own. You can also write to me by email: editor@bitheway,co.uk.

Hope you enjoy the site.

Bi the Way

For More Info go to http://www.BiTheWay.co.uk or post your comments;

Ted Haggard is Still a Gay Man; Surviving a Public Scandal Why Gayle Haggard Stayed with her Gay Husband?

2010-01-26T14:17:00.001-05:00

Ted Haggard is Still a Gay Man; Surviving a Public Scandal Why Gayle Haggard Stayed with her Gay Husband?

Before his entire world was turned upside down, Ted Haggard was a preacher, a husband and father of five. In 2006, he made headlines when a former male escort alleged that Ted paid him for sex and crystal meth. Ted admitted to sexual immorality and buying drugs and was prohibited from preaching and exiled from his church and the state of Colorado.

In January 2009, when Ted and his wife, Gayle, appeared on The Oprah Show, Ted told Oprah that he was a "heterosexual with homosexual attachments."

When Oprah asked Gayle why she stayed with Ted after the scandal broke, Gayle said she realized that Ted's struggles were only one aspect of him and that they didn't take away from the life they had built together. "I choose to forgive him, and I choose to love him. I made the decision. Then I had to work it out. And that was the painful process for me."

Gayle's new book, Why I Stayed, answers the question that everyone asks. "I think my book is a love story," Gayle says. "I'm a strong woman and I take care of myself, and these were my choices. I feel as though the betrayal had the potential to lead us toward greater health in our marriage, and that was the perspective I was willing to take because I do deeply love this man."

One critical moment Gayle writes about is when she questioned herself after learning of her husband's infidelity. "After I asked myself those questions, I asked Ted those questions, "she says. "'Did I fail you somehow? Was I not appealing enough to you or attractive enough or sexual enough or fun enough? Where did I fail?'"

Dennis's comment:

I'm sorry, but Gail Haggard is living in a cloud on Shangri-La, in love or relationship that doesn't exist. "Being gay is not a choice, but being honest about it is!"
In a previous post, a year ago I stated; "we would not hear the last of the Haggard's as they were probably bound and determined to gain financial success from their scanda." I don't have to be a psychic to understand that her book is step one to gaining that financial security.

Gayle needs to read my book "Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries." I'll be more than glad to pay for her copy as it would be the best money I've ever spent...

Tell us what you think by posting your comments below?

When your Marriage Falls Apart as a Gay Man or Straight Wife

2010-01-11T20:42:00.000-05:00

When Your Marriage Falls Apart as a Gay Man or Straight Wife

The only relationship that lasts forever is the one where you die first. Your love will one day end, whether from crash and burn or death do you part. Gay men regularly get lambasted for having short term, unstable relationships, but the same complaint about couples being flighty, unstable, and quick to break up is leveled by many foreigners against all Americans. They think we don’t take our vows seriously, that we’re not willing to stick it out, that our emotions just switch on and off like machines.

Loss is probably the most difficult of all emotions: the pain can go through grief and get on with your life is one of the biggest tests you will ever face as a human.

Tell Us Your Story?

Dennis Schleicher

Hillary Clinton Continues to Speak Out in Support of Gay Rights at Home & Abroad

2010-01-08T18:31:00.001-05:00

Hillary Clinton Continues to Speak Out in Support of Gay Rights at Home and Abroad

It’s nice to know that somebody in the administration doesn’t see gay people as little other than a political annoyance (*cough* Obama *cough*).

During her human rights speech at Georgetown before the holidays, she spoke out against the persecution of the GLBT community in various nations such as Iran and Uganda. You can watch her speech Secretary Clinton Human Rights Speech

From the moment she walked through the door at the State Department, Hillary Clinton began working on promoting equal benefits at the State Department. Everyone in blogging about her gay rights advocacy, you can see this Secretary Clinton Moving To Provide Equal Benefits To Gay State Dept Employees

Post Your Comments & Tell Dennis what you Think???

Husband is Gay - Why Men Cheat on the Internet – How to Catch Him?

2010-01-07T12:48:00.000-05:00

Husband is Gay - Why Men Cheat on the Internet – How to Catch Him?

One of the first signals that your husband is gay may be found by tracking your partner's web habits. Does he secretly spend time visiting gay-related websites or hanging out in gay membership chat rooms? Internet infidelity - a Red Flag for trouble ahead - is a symptom of a relationship breakdown. When you add to this the conflicted sexual orientation of your spouse, you've got a recipe for an impending disaster.

The most success when finding out your spouse is cheating is installing spy software. That's totally invisible. I'll include a link below:

A Tribute to Lifetime Television's A Prayer for Bobby and 20 Years after my Appearance on The Sally Jesse Raphael Show

2009-12-23T14:13:00.002-05:00

A tribute to Lifetime Television's A Prayer for Bobby

It's been a full year since Lifetime TV has aired "A Prayer for Bobby," and I am still receiving e-mails about life-changing movie. It was January 19, 1990 that the episode I filmed on Sally Jesse Raphael Show hit the airwaves that would forever change my life. As I explained in more detail in my explosives and controversial memoir, "Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-Mail Diaries." On stage. I had the privilege of sitting with Bobby's mother as she poured her heart and soul into the camera, explaining the tragedy that occurred a few years prior, when her son committed suicide because of her own religious beliefs. I was extremely closeted. When that show aired, and I will never forget the words Bobby's mother said to me. "Dennis, don't ever let anyone dictate who you are or should be. Don't ever be ashamed of your sexuality. If you ever need a mother who understands call me." Wow, what empowering words. Thank you for changing my life, and the life of others.

Dennis Schleicher

Web Watching Technology Has Gotten Many Gay Husbands & Men in Trouble for Cheating

2009-12-23T13:42:00.001-05:00

Web Watching Technology Has Gotten Many Men in Trouble for Cheating

With technology booming, invisible web monitoring can allow husbands and wives see every move that's made over the Internet. This has made many men in my support group, unknowingly be outed by their spouses or loved ones. When a wife installs this invisible software. Nothing is kept secrets anymore.

This is how it works!!!

Have you been caught cheating on your spouse? If so, post your comments...

Fast Rapid HIV AIDS Testing & How the 20 Minutes Test Works by Qraquick Advance Technologies, INC.

2009-12-15T19:11:00.001-05:00

Fast HIV AIDS Testing & How the 20 Minutes Works by Oraquick Advance Technologies, INC.
Today my-test for antibodies to the HIV 1 & 2 tested Negative! We need more men for our support group and their wife’s to be tested and have the HIV Testing Certification that I received today. What are you? Do you know? I sat with my testing counselor Donna and only after my Rapid test was negative her only recommendations / comments; “Dennis, Monogamy Works! Be Well! Be Yourself!” Was what she said as my 20 minutes passed, Thank You Donna Shubrooks, RN STD Program Coordinator @ http://www.hglhc.org/. Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective. “Proudly Serving the LGBT Community Since 1983”
When it comes to HIV status-YOU deserve to know NOW.

Know you're TEST Results in 20 minutes.

This is how it works:

• Testing results in one session

• A simple oral fluid sample is all it takes

• 99.9% accurate

Protect your self and others around you.

It is so important to find out if you are infected with HIV so that you do not infect someone else. If you know you are infected with HIV, you can avoid any activity that may pass it on.

Get tested and understand how important it is to find out if you are infected with HIV so that you can receive good medical care. There are medicines that can help keep you healthy even though you are infected with the HIV virus.

I cannot stress the amount of married men I take for the test and it comes back positive! Why? Most part due to married men think there at low risk because of there wife at home in the house with the perfect lawn and kids in school. NOT TRUE. Call or e-mail me if you need a friend that can help you thought this and your options.

Where can you go and get tested?

• http://www.orasure.com/

• http://www.hglhc.org/ 1-860-178-4163

• http://www.hivtest.org/

• http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

• http://www.std.org/ 1-888-4395118

• http://www.easystdtesting.com/ 1-800-959-8518

• http://www.localstdtesting.com/ 1-800-610-0346

• http://www.advancedtestingcenter.com/ 1-800-809-9252

Accurate & Confidential 20 mins Appointments is ALL it Takes.

Be Safe,

Dennis Schleicher

Best Selling Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Out Magazine & Married Gay Husbands

2009-12-13T20:42:00.000-05:00

Out Magazine & Married Gay Husbands

Recently I had a gentleman from my support group inquire about one of the largest gay magazines. I was asked to give a brief description and share my viewpoints on OUT. I was about 18 years of age, when this Magazine first came out in 1990 or 1991. I was so elated to know that there are others out there like myself. However, I was also petrified to subscribe to OUT magazine, because I was afraid the mailman was going to find out about my closeted homosexuality. Little did I know, they wrapped the magazine in a dark envelope to conceal its contents, just like subscribing to Playboy. Goodness, that's another story in itself!

This is a general interest magazine for gays and lesbians. Each issue includes journalism on culture, people and current issues. It is written for people who appreciate a different slant on everyday life and accept diversity as a given. Individual concerns are also addressed. To order your copy click on; Out
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

“So do you think Anderson Cooper is GAY??? on the Cover of OUT, post or Digg your comments?"

-- Dennis Schleicher

Author of:

WickedGayBlog.com: 10th Annual Boston Santa Speedo Run

2009-12-13T19:47:00.000-05:00

Boy, this is not for our group!!! LOL....

WickedGayBlog.com: 10th Annual Boston Santa Speedo Run

Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective - Celebrating 25 years of Helping All

2009-12-07T06:25:00.004-05:00

Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective - Celebrating 25 years!

Collective’s Mission - "The Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective empowers individuals of diverse sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions to lead healthy lives through the provision of health and support services, education and advocacy."

"WOW, 25 years ago I was still thinking of my wife to be Carrie and wanting so desperately to be straight--perceived as a normal, well now I’m normal in many ways just as being-gay. Where did the years go??? I would like to personally thank the health collective for the thousands married gay men I've sent their way 100%confidential support with the guys & men in my group."

-- Dennis Schleicher
Best Selling Author; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
PS special thanks, goes out to Donna for her outreach program!!!

Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective
About HGLHC: Education, support, advocacy and specific medical services which meet the health care needs of gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals in the greater Hartford ...

Tel: (860) 278-4163

The Other Man or Other Woman Support and Help

2009-12-02T15:18:00.001-05:00

The Other Man or Other Woman Support and Help

In general, society looks at the other man/other woman as being the responsible party in an affair. It’s understandable that the other man/other woman become the target for the rage and anger the deceived spouse feels. Blaming the other man/other woman keeps the wives of gay husbands from having to take responsibility for the problems in the marriage the fact that it’s NOT the fault of the women who are unknowingly married to a gay husband.

How you handle the fact that there is another man or woman has a great deal to do with whether or not you end up in divorce court or, are able to save your marriage. I have a few suggestions that will help save your sanity and possibly your marriage.

• Don’t Make The Other Person More Important Than They Really Are

• See The Relationship For What It Really Is

• Don’t Internalize Your Feelings

When a person views the world through a self-critical perspective, the outcome turns out rather distorted. Don’t allow the actions of an unfaithful spouse cause you to feel shame or unworthy. Such feelings can lead to depression, self – loathing and anxiety. Whether your goal is to save your marriage or divorce your unfaithful spouse, you need to keep a level head and develop good coping strategies. Feel your pain and seek the help of others as you are NOT alone

Relationship Coaching in the Comfort of your Home

2009-11-19T15:27:00.001-05:00

Relationship Coaching in the Comfort of your Home
Talk with a counselor in comfort from home. Online counseling is easier and more convenient than seeing a therapist in person. You can keep your privacy and choose to remain anonymous. Nobody else needs to know. Save time and money, start feeling better. Work out what to do next in your life. Online Counseling lets you choose from email, instant message chat, phone or webcam sessions with an experienced therapist. These sessions happen over the internet in the comfort of your own home or office by phone or Skype. You discuss anything that is important including finding direction or motivation, feeling happier and what to do about specific problems related to your relationships, thoughts or experiences. You can access confidential online counseling from anywhere in the world. For more information on fees or to make a appointment contact us @ tantric1@live.com
Your privacy is important.
Online counseling lets you speak to a therapist from the comfort of your home or office, or anywhere in the world that your business takes you. Phone or webcam session (60 minute sessions) You can choose either webcam or voice only. At the first appointment you can discuss your expectations and how you came to be seeking counseling or therapy. Instant chat (60 minute sessions) Text based counseling. This is a good choice if you can type and prefer not to use the phone or webcam service. The Skype application will provide you with a text record of the session. I prefer the phone or Skype. Email Exchange Send an email of up to 1000 words. You will receive written reflections and questions to assist you. The main benefit of email counseling is that you decide when and how often you write.
About Dennis
working as a relationship counselor and Tantric Coach for 16 years and has worked extensively with Tantric Sex Coaching, Blogging, Radio Show, working with men, woman, straight or gay wishing to explore or celebrate bodies. Tantra literally means a "tool for expansion." Outlining for spiritual transformation. Learning highly orgasmic techniques for reaching new heights of sexual arousal & intimacy. Dennis is considered a guru in relationship shifting that breaks traditional notions of what a couple should be. Men, Women that have denied their true sexuality in order to follow societal norm of the traditional marriage scenario are increasingly finding other options to “coming out”, families suffer collateral damage of lives that will forever be changed. Is there anyway to know my husband is gay? Support for the other man, gay husbands, straight spouse & wives of gay men. “Coming Out,” is not an event. It's a lifelong process of overcoming learned shame and increasing self-acceptance. I advocate that all gay men must strive to come out - fully. No one can truly be happy and thrive in the shame and secrecy of being in the closet - fully or partially. Dennis Schleicher Best-Selling Author "Forbidden Love with a Married Man." and has been a support group counselor working with all kinds of Coming Out.

Developing a Lasting Gay Relationship

Tantric Kissing, Sexual Energy

Developing a healthy Gay Relationship

Erotic Foreplay and Massage

Is He Gay? Straight, or Bisexual? What are You?

Multiple Orgasms

Sex to a Deeper Level, Peaking Together

Dennis’s approach has helped many and can help you to achieve the ultimate pleasures in your life. He has been called the ultimate Tantric Sex coach that will become your must-read for every man, woman, straight, or gay wishing to explore, confirm or celebrate our bodies. Dennis uses collaborative & narrative Therapy - practices influenced by the work many Doctors. He takes an interviewing approach instead of ‘advice-giving’. This model of therapy is gentle and respectful but has powerful results and to the point!!!
What Can Gay, Lesbian Bisexual & Transgender Counseling Do for You?
Do you need some support? Or are you wondering if you might be gay, lesbian or bisexual? Talk online and keep your privacy secure.
It’s confidential and easy. Our Therapy takes a respectful approach to:
Questions about how or if to tell others about your sexuality
Could you come out to your wife or loved ones.
All kinds of relationship issues
Feeling better after a relationship ends - how to move on.
Bullying and harassment at work, or elsewhere
Loneliness, how to find or make friends
Concerns about internet use
Sex related problems, Tantric coaching
Wanting to feel happier with life and your relationship with your self.
Dennis has many years experience assisting other gay men, lesbians, bisexual people and others dealing with sexuality. Or if Dennis is not the one for you his years of working in coaching he can help you find the Therapists for you.
Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher Best Selling Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries & Support Group Counselor

"Damn Straight," Pick Straight or Gay, The “CHOICE”

2009-11-09T22:30:00.000-05:00

Pick Straight or Gay, The “CHOICE”
Damn Straight by Dennis Schleicher

One of the ongoing debates among humanity continues to be whether a person is born gay or becomes gay. I have men and women writing to me on a regular basis insisting that their husbands weren’t born gay—but rather “made” gay. They try to convince me that early sexual molestation in the formative years of life changes a man’s sexuality. Or they keep insisting that gay is a “choice”—like eating ice cream. Pick vanilla or chocolate—pick straight or gay. They can’t understand how a man who functioned for years as a straight man is now a gay man. Further, they can’t understand how a man with a loving family—wife, children, in-laws, and other extensions--would be willing to give up everything after 5, 10, 15, 20, or more years for a sexual act. Or sometimes they will never make the “choice.” Could sex be that important to us all?

I know that we are born gay. It’s a tough stretch for me to believe that anyone can be “made” gay. No overbearing mother or distant father is enough to change someone’s sexuality. If that was the case, half the world would be gay—and that’s not the case. I don’t believe our husbands have any choice in being gay. If they had a choice, they would choose “straight.” They spend years trying to be straight which is why they marry us to start with. But the reality is that no more than we can make them gay, we can’t make them straight no matter what we do or how we try. It is what it is—a crazy, mixed up tragedy that creates lots of victims along the way. Gay is just not a choice—being honest about it is a choice.

Post Your Thought and Be Honest? --Dennis Schleicher

Gay Fathers and Husbands of Ohio

2009-10-20T14:34:00.001-04:00

If you’re a gay or bi-sexual man who has been in relationships with women – you’re not alone. Gay Fathers and Husbands understands … and maybe we can help each other.

You are not alone...we understand.

The Gay Fathers and Husbands group is an informal association of gay and bi-sexual men who may have in common current or past marriages or partnered relationships with women. Some individuals may have natural or adopted children from these relationships. Members of the Gay Fathers and Husbands group meet monthly to discuss issues and needs held in common, and to offer support to one another by sharing experiences, encouragement, and hope. Friends and supporters are normally welcome at the meetings, and guests may be invited to address special topics. The group determines the purpose and direction of meetings. Attendance will range from as few as 8 to as many as 30 or more. Meetings are casual – no dues. GFAH has been meeting in the Akron Area since 1990.

"Live your life so that your children can tell their
children that you not only stood for something
wonderful-you acted on it."
--Dan Zadra
Gay Fathers & Husbands of Ohio

Our group attempts to:

Provide a support and communications network for gay fathers;
Encourage cooperative action in promoting the common interests of gay fathers and their families;
Provide opportunities for social interaction between gay fathers, their children, and friends;
Promote and sponsor activities that present a positive image of gay fathers and to encourage acceptance of alternative parenting.

Participants come from all over NE Ohio and Western PA. Members represent all ages, jobs, backgrounds and stages of life -- including young men with newborns to older men with grandchildren ... and some participants have no children. Some men are married or separated or divorced. GFAH is not a dating club or a religious group. Being "out" is not a requirement for participating at meetings, and all members agree to respect the privacy of individuals who attend the meetings.

"A Note from Dennis"

Wow, I stumbled across ‘Gay Fathers & Husbands of Ohio’ on the Internet, when searching on Google. I wish every state had an organization like this to represent all the positive aspects of gay parenting. My dream is that in time, every state and county will have an organization like Gay Fathers of Ohio. All it takes is for one parent to have a dream and to be consistent. Please feel free to post your comments or visits; Gay Fathers & Husbands of Ohio
Be Safe,
Dennis Schleicher
http://www.OtherMan.typepad.com

Is Your Relationship Full of Trust, Success & Love, Or Is Your Man Gay?

2009-10-19T22:03:00.007-04:00

Is Your Relationship Full of Trust, Success & Love, Or Is Your Man Gay? by Dennis Schleicher

Without a healthy foundation of trust, relationships don’t have a chance for success. Healthy relationships need to be based on integrity, followed by honesty. This means being truthful to your husband, wife, or spouse. This means keeping your promises, especially to those you love.

Shocking News & Statistics
The Centers for Disease Control, CDC, http://www.cdc.gov/ estimates that at least 4,000,000 women have been involved with men that have had sex with another man! This affects a large portion of Americans. This is more people than all the residents in the state of Connecticut combined. This is what I would call an epidemic! Most of the women I talk to never even see it coming. The notion or fact that their husband might be gay, secretly living a double life style.

An alarming statistic, performed by The Family Pride Coalition; http://www.familyequality.org/ clearly states that 20% of all gay men in America are in heterosexual marriages. Is this the reason my support group is growing by leaps and bounds? So what should you do if you discover your husband is gay? You've made the first step, by Googling or visiting our website - Blog. The next step is to visit http://www.gayhusbands.com/ and sign up for Bonnie Kaye’s free newsletter or purchase her book that contains an in depth compilation of her best letters. Bonnie Kaye's Straight Talk: A Collection of Her Best Newsletters About Gay Husbands Bonnie is also available for relationship counseling, will except phone appointments.

Be safe, Dennis Schleicher
Author of an explosives and controversial memoir; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
Tell Us What You Think by Posting Your Comments;

Gay Husbands Are Proud Of Andy Cohen on Bravo

2009-10-16T13:32:00.001-04:00

Gay Husbands Are Proud Of Andy Cohen on Bravo
The growing popularity of NBC's Bravo senior executives Andy Cohen is showing the men in my support group, that it's okay to be who you are. That it's okay to be truthful to your wives about your sexual orientation. I see this as the second round in the movement of gay husbands to 'come out' to their wives and loved ones. The first movement began with Queer Eye Fab 5, to follow BrokeBack Mountain. Now I'm seeing a surge in husbands wanting to come out of the closet and we owe much thanks to people like Andy Cohen and Jeff Lewis of Flipping Out.

"Watch What Happens Live, was envisioned as a 12-week test of a format that Bravo has long wanted: a live, topical talk show. The channel’s reality shows already generate “so much water cooler conversation,” Mr. Cohen said. Why not host some of that conversation on Bravo?
Great job, Andy, and thanks for making my Gay Husbands support group feel comfortable. To find out more on Andy Cohen, visit his blog at; http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/andys-blog or post your Comments;

Be safe,
Dennis Schleicher
Author of An Explosives and Controversial Memoir;
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
Photo of Andy Cohen by The Advocate

Sexual Secrets of your Husbands

2009-10-01T00:24:00.004-04:00

Sexual Secrets of your Husbands
By Dennis Schleicher
Are you a wife who knows their husband is keeping a secret? Can a real man confess the truth about his secret life? Telling the truth for the many men in my support group is often easer sad than done.
Forgiveness
If you are not willing to forgive you will be stuck in this mess for life. Even when you let go of your gay husband this process is powerful.
Being gay is not a mistake rather it’s the truth of your husbands natural sexuality.
Non-forgiveness will lead to being cold single person existents of miserable lessons to learn for life.
In any relationship contentious issues arise. When it comes to cheating, well, this may require many hours of counseling.
When I counsel x-wives there is a big fear of sex. {To find therapy in your area send Dennis an e-mail or post on this blog.}
Lying about an affair is often the norm. Not being faithful to your wife is both emotionally & physically draining.
When a wife catches you having an affair, her entire world as she knew it today, just fell apart. What makes this worse is when we lie about it. Yes it’s very easy for men to lie about their sins of lust. The honorable thing to do is to come clean and tell the truth.
Yes, you may and should lose your wife in the process if you still have sex with men. At least you did not continue to carry your lie.
When you cheat, be a real man and tell the truth to your wife and loved ones.
Be Safe,
Dennis Schleicher
Best Selling Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries by Dennis Schleicher
Recommended Therapist:
· Bonnie Kaye (215) 288-6959 www.GayHusbands.com
· Angelo Pezzote (917) 673-5003 http://www.askangelo.com/ or http://www.AskAngelo.blogspot.com
Both are best selling authors and available for phone sessions
The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder by Bonnie Kaye
Bonnie Kaye's Straight Talk: A Collection of Her Best Newsletters About Gay Husbands
How I Made My Husband Gay: Myths About Straight Wives

Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love by Angelo Pezzote

Pride in Gay Ownership; GLBT Owned Businesses is one the Rise. Is Now Our Time?

2009-08-18T13:24:00.000-04:00

Pride in Ownership
Now is the Time to be Creative and Follow Your Financial Destiny

During These Uncertain economic times, large numbers of gays & lesbians have turned to their own devices to stabilize control over their financial future. While millions of mid- and upper-level corporate jobs are being eliminated, entrepreneurial growth is at an all-time high in 2009. The National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce estimates that there are in excess of 1.4-million GLBT-owned businesses in the U.S., and that number is rapidly growing. In an effort to promote gay entrepreneurship, the NGLCC has published a guide in conjunction with the HRC Foundation called “Small Business Basics – how Small Businesses Can Create Fair Workplaces for GLBT Employees.

So if you’re a gay entrepreneurial owner lets help support each other by posting your GLBT owned businesses & I'll link to your Blog or WebSite.

--Dennis Schleicher

Best Selling Author of “Forbidden Love with a Married Man”

http://www.OtherMan.typepad.com

http://www.GayHusbands.wordpress.com

http://www.MarketSellMoreBooks.blogspot.com

http://www.BookBlogMarketing.blogspot.com

Married Man Seeks Same for Discreet Play

2009-08-03T08:45:00.001-04:00

Married Man Seeks Same for Discreet Play
He has a loving wife, a small child—and sex with men on the side. How the Internet has made it easier than ever to lead a detection-proof double life.
By David Amsden www.nymag.com/news

The man sitting across from me would like to tell me his name, but doing so is against his rules. He could tell me a fake name, he says, though not the one he typically uses when meeting a man in the middle of the day, since he has been using the same fake name for so long that it is almost real. Revealing it now would open him up to the potential of recognition, and, frankly, just imagining a scenario like that makes him wonder why he agreed to meet in the first place. He knows how he comes across. So shifty and paranoid. But he is not apologetic. Because when you live two separate lives, as he does, and when you have been maintaining these two separate lives for twenty years, as he has, coming across as shifty and paranoid is something of an inevitability.
I will call him William Dockett, for clarity’s sake. Over the past few weeks, William and I have been e-mailing regularly. This is what I know about him: I know that he is in his early forties and that he lives and works in Manhattan, earning around $200,000 annually in a job he wishes he was more passionate about. I know that he is a registered Democrat who grew up in a nearby suburb. I know that he has been married a decade and that he is the father of a small child. And I know—here his life gets complicated—that when he is at work, and things are slow, he goes to Craigslist and, with a familiar mixture of guilt and resignation and excitement, clicks on the “men meeting men” section of the personals.
It is hard to fathom, the notion of a gay man living a closeted life in New York City in 2007. The life of someone like William—who responded to a posting I placed on Craigslist identifying myself as a writer trying to understand the psyche of a still-closeted man—seems at the very least anachronistic. Typically, the “closet” brings to mind small towns, intensely religious communities, and, at the most cosmopolitan level, the lives of Jim McGreevey and Mark Foley: gay men operating in a world so inherently duplicitous that their choosing to lead a shadow life follows, sadly, a certain logic. And yet the thing about desire—frustratingly, thrillingly—is that few things are so resistant to reason and categorization. “I used to think I was bi, but now I really believe that I am gay and just was not in the right situation,” William wrote to me in an early message. “I think I like a particular kind of guy and when I went out looking I never found him, so I gravitated toward women. I found what I liked on the Internet, but I was already married.”
We are meeting at a pub in the West Village, desolate at this midday hour, a location chosen because it is far removed, geographically and psychically, from where William lives and works. He is, as he refers to himself online, “average looking,” medium height, clean shaven, a little stocky but in decent shape. He’s wearing dark tapered slacks, a well-ironed pale-blue shirt, cuff links, and a pink tie that is flashy but by no means flamboyant, knotted half-English style. For weeks he has resisted the idea of talking in person. “I’m sorry,” he wrote, “but my life is a mess right now.” And later: “Why am I even talking to you?” Once he agreed to meet, he warned me, “You’re going to be disappointed. I’ve had to become very good at revealing very little.”
He was not exaggerating. My questions are answered curtly, almost inaudibly. No, he is not religious. No, he was not raised in a religious or bigoted household. No, he does not think being attracted to men is “wrong.” No, it’s not that simple. This much he will allow: “This is not the life I was meant to live. I don’t know what that life is, what it looks like, but I know it’s not this. But I don’t think most people are living the life they think they were meant to live, so I don’t feel that bad.” I walk away from the lunch thinking that the most telling thing about the entire exchange is how little William is willing to tell. His paranoia is palpable, clearly consuming. Whatever the reason he decided to meet me in the first place—vanity, a desire to tell a few of his secrets, maybe even a subconscious wish to be discovered—I feel certain that he will not wish to meet again.
But later that afternoon he sends me an e-mail: “I think I want to keep talking to you. I don’t know why, but I do.”

To read more go to; http://nymag.com/news/features/34985 & tell us what your think by posting your comments??? Do you think he is Gay?

With Hopes of Returning Home as a Functional Straight or Heterosexual Family

2009-07-10T20:00:00.001-04:00

This poem was sent to me by a wife of the gay husband, who is in such denial that she couldn't accept her husband's double lifestyle as a gay married man. As she was pleading, please stay...

Here We Go Again
Please just let me in again
We have so much to do
There is not much time,
For what we need to get done
We wasted the first part of
Now there is nothing left
Too much time has passed
I some how forget the day
Because I closed my eyes,
And you slipped away
But you won’t do that
Or maybe you do not need me,
Like I need you
Accept me as I am
You knew me my positive ways
Now we need to find a new way,
To make this thing work out
What do you have to say?
I have given my plea
Please don’t reject me
You can see what I am worth,
Understand where I may be
For that is the purpose of our lives,
Is to be together,
As a family the way we have been for the past 15 years…
----Sandy C

Do You Feel Optimistic About Gay Rights Legislation?

2009-06-07T04:27:00.001-04:00

Do you feel more optimistic about the prospects for gay rights legislation than you did last year?
63% Yes
30% No
7% Not Sure
“We now have a president who is at least sympathetic toward LGBT issues rather than openly hostile, as was the previous administration.”

“The only thing the current administration offers is a lot of lip service.”

“We are definitely moving in the right direction and at a much faster pace.”

--The Advocate featured in the June issue.
Tell US what you THINK???

WickedGayBlog.com: Human Rights Campaign Raises Maine Flag over Washington, DC Headquarters

2009-05-06T22:36:00.001-04:00

WickedGayBlog.com: Human Rights Campaign Raises Maine Flag over Washington, DC Headquarters

Ask Angelo Pezzote: Homophobia, Shame, Fear, to Developing a Positive Sexual Identity

2009-04-10T17:58:00.001-04:00

Ask Angelo Pezzote: Homophobia, Shame, Fear, to Developing a Positive Sexual Identity

Why Is My Husband Gay? Did I Make Him Gay?

2009-03-15T17:42:00.002-04:00

Why Is My Husband Gay? Did I Make Him Gay?
by Dennis Schleicher
Over four million Americans are effected by an epidemic of relationship shifting that breaks traditional notions of what a couple is and what they should be. Men or women that have denied their true sexuality in order to follow the societal norm of the traditional marriage scenario are increasingly finding other options to fulfill who they really are. In that process of “coming out”, I’ve seen both men, women and children suffer the collateral damage of lives that will forever be changed. Through many support groups, both online and off, through books, including my own and through honest communication with each other, it is my intent to provide this as a place for any person involved in this kind of relationship to find safe haven.

What if Someone You Think Is Gay

2009-03-01T15:33:00.000-05:00

What if Someone You Think Is Gay

Throughout the past couple of months I have been receiving some basic questions that I feel deserve attention. Therefore, most of society still lives in the dark ages wondering if gay is a choice? How did I become gay? What did they mean? Can prayer heal my sexual orientation? Therefore, I have composed the following;

What does “gay mean?
Someone who is attracted to people of the same sex is Gay or homosexual. These words can refer to both men and women, although a lot of women prefer to be called lesbian. Someone who is attracted to people of the opposite sex is called heterosexual or straight. Someone who is attracted to people of and the opposite sex is called bisexual. Gay, straight, or bisexual are all the terms that describe persons sexual orientation or identity and sexual orientation simply refers to the sex (or gender) of the people you are attracted to. In other words, if your sexual orientation is Gay, then you are attracted to someone of the same sex.

How do you become gay?
You cannot become gay, just like you cannot become straight. This is how it works: all of us have feelings of sexual attraction. Most of us have these feelings for people of the opposite sex. Some of us have these feelings for people of the same sex. Some people have feelings of sexual attraction for both the same sex and the opposite sex.

What exactly are “feelings of sexual attraction”?
As we grow into adolescence, and our bodies change, we begin to have strong feelings of attraction that are different from and more intense then, the good feelings you might have for a relative or friend. It is the strong feelings of sexual attraction that make us want to have a sexual relationship with some of the same sex. These feelings began before puberty, and for others they do not calm until after we become full adults. These special feelings of excitement and desire are difficult to describe, but you will know them when you experience them.

Are gay people, able to become straight through prayer?
NO. Gay people cannot become straight through prayer. That Idea is just as unrealistic as thinking that heterosexual people become gay through prayer. Still, many people have encouraged their day children to pray for a healing to occur. Christian fundamentalists are the backbone for many gays believing in self-hatred that is associated with self-esteem and self-worth issues.

Reformed Straight Man of the year, Ted Haggard, Posing as a Straight Man Born-AGAIN at least this week!

2009-02-17T08:28:00.006-05:00

There is nothing wrong with being a gay man. There is something wrong with a gay man who is posing as a straight man—especially if he is your husband. This brings me to the most talked about “Reformed Straight Man” of the year, Ted Haggard.

Ted Haggard was the head of the largest ecumenical church in America for years, he was very much on the straight and narrow—until it was revealed that he wasn’t straight at all. He was “dethroned,” kicked out and put into exile after the news came out about his affair with a young man whom he claims there was no “real sex.” Whatever. For the next two years, the Haggard family wandered trying to find a way to live. Their multi-million dollar anti-homosexual operation was taken away from them—the one he created. He was left floundering through life, trying to find his way and where he fit. If I don’t sound sympathetic—well, I’m not. I have no sympathy for people who spew venom against homosexuality while practicing it themselves. But that’s me.

Anyway, Ted Haggard had a few pathetic years to dream up his newest money making scheme. He and his wife Gayle decided that they could give new false home to homosexuals by making them believe they have choices. Now Haggard hasn’t proclaimed he is gay—rather, “straight—with issues.” Of course those issues are homosexual issues. You know what I say—if you want a penis—you want “gay.” You can wrap it neatly in a box and call it whatever you want, but the bottom line is the bottom line.

What I resent about the Haggards is that they are putting back the whole issue of homosexuality 50 years. Through psychotherapy and prayer, a “straight man with issues” can lead a straight life. His wife Gayle bragged about their great sex life on national television to convince us of that. It’s that old line that even if people are gay, they can make choices. They can make a choice not to act on their homosexuality. I’m not quite sure how they can make a choice to make passionate love to their wives without having the ability to greatly fantasize that they are with a man, but maybe there’s a secret that hasn’t been revealed to me yet.

The sad thing is that the Haggards will make more money now than ever because they found the “solution” to the gay thing. This will give new fuel to all of those religious fanatics that believe homosexuality is a sin that doesn’t have to be acted on. This will drive religious gay men deeper into their closets than ever before. People will be paying the Haggards money to learn how to live this straight with issues life that certainly sounds better than “gay.” And so many more women will keep suffering while their husbands pretend they have “found the light” from the darkness they were lost in before Ted Haggard showed them the way.

Do I feel sorry for Gayle Haggard? No, not at all! She has found a comfortable way out of reality and a way to keep misleading women into staying in their ridiculous marriages. She will no doubt profit from the new prophet of “straight with issues.” She will teach women how to love their gay husbands unconditionally enough to help them refrain from their indiscretions that no doubt will continue to happen. She will also be financially rewarded for her false hopes that she is selling. Look, they already made an HBO special that will undoubtedly be followed by a hit book in the near future. They have to do something to make a living. Coping in the real world just didn’t seem to do it.

Ironically, the same week of the Haggards’ national appearances on every major media show, a movie was released on Lifetime called “Prayers for Bobby.” The show was about a deeply committed Christian woman, Mary Griffin, who did everything possible to try to change her son, Bobby’s, homosexuality into heterosexuality based on her strong religious faith after he came out to her in his late teens. At first, Bobby agreed to try everything from therapy to prayer to not be gay. In the end, he told his mother that he has no choice. She never stopped prodding him to keep trying lest he be damned forever, but he just couldn’t do it. In 1983, Bobby killed himself unable to live with the pressure. Mary went through her own “reformation” and became a great activist for gay rights as a leader in the PFLAG movement. (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) Mary, unlike Ted Haggard, understood the pain and torture of forcing something to happen that by nature can’t happen. This is the meaning of change—the way it should be.

Until people recognize that gay is not a choice and accept homosexuality for what it is, people will continue to lead tortured lives—especially the wives of gay men who can’t be honest or won’t be honest.

Ted Haggard, former Evangelical minister who was outted by a gay prostitute, resurfaced this week on television talk shows to promote his new book and a special on HBO. In exchange for a cash settlement of 12 months’ salary, Ted agreed to undergo ‘restorative’ therapy. The mega church he founded also demanded that Ted disappear – leave

Colorado

with his family, remain in exile and not talk to the press. After therapy by the ministry to restore Ted’s masculinity, and several months undergoing psychological therapy, Ted says he finally understands his sexuality. Ted now defines himself as "heterosexual with issues." I tried looking that up, but it doesn't appear anywhere on the Kinsey Scale of sexuality.

Listening to Ted's wife is a lesson in denial and rationalization. Gayle Haggard says she rejects labels. "We don't have to become our identity," she stated on Oprah Winfrey's show, "we can make choices."

When Oprah asked Ted whether he was heterosexual or homosexual he denied being either. He explained that it is just too complicated to reduce to those terms. "I am a person."

It seems that after two years of therapy, the only progress that has been made is Ted's list of personal fables. He is no closer to the truth than he was when he hit on a young parishioner, or partied with drugs and hustlers. True, we do make choices in life and we must accept personal responsibility for our choices. However, sexual orientation is not a choice and it is very much a part of our identity. Ted’s refusal to accept his homosexuality and adapt to it was the only choice he made and it just continues the disingenuous narrative of Ted Haggard. Sadly he is stuck in that stage of denial and trying to cope with the cognitive dissonance between the truth of his sexuality and the public persona he chooses to project. Ted, like many gay husbands stuck in this phase, is driven by fear. In the HBO special Ted revealed that he fought against his sexuality all of his life because he feared loss of his friends, loss of the church and his ability to make a living. Living in isolation and without means to earn a living, Ted is facing his worst fears and he is dragging his wife and sons with him through his personal hell. Ironically, he has been forced into exile and isolation by the anti-homosexual monster he created. But the real victims here are his wife and his two teenage sons who have been dragged through the muck as a result of Ted’s personal demon.

Post your comments, tell us what you THINK;

Your Husband Secretly Gay or Bisexual?

2009-02-08T06:28:00.001-05:00

When you’re really attracted to a man, it can be hard to tell if he’s attracted to you—especially if he doesn’t know if he’s gay. Even a sexpert like myself has been blindsided by a boyfriend’s (or two) sexuality. But just like cheaters, there are some tell-tale signs if he’s homosexual. So, look out for the red flags that show he should be waving a rainbow one…
1. Fire Starter: You always make the first move.

2. Action Figure: The only women whose hotness he comments on look like Barbie dolls. It’s just too convenient to say you’re only attracted to exactly what society tells you to be into.

3. T&A: He may go to your boobs and your booty, but you have to take him by the hand to lead him to the Promised Land.

4. Q&A: You’ve wondered, “Is he gay?” After getting to know him, most of your friends would say, “YES!”

5. Private Eyes: When close to another man, he’ll stare at their body. For example, he’ll watch the waiter’s gun show when he drops off your plates.

6. Excuses, Excuses: He typically dates women who aren’t interested in sex, are so insecure they easily internalize a lack of physical contact, or are virgins.

7. Talk Is Cheap: He is really vocal about objectifying women in obvious, yet awkward ways. “Look at that rack—yeah, boy, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

8. Loose Lips: When he’s drunk, he jokes around about how everyone thinks he’s gay. But when he’s sober, he would take that accusation seriously.

9. Step It Up: All of his sex moves seem straight out of a magazine’s advice column. It just feels like he’s pushing buttons in exact order rather than enjoying himself.

Tell us what you think?

Jennifer Aniston's Gay Ex Talk

2009-02-06T09:05:00.006-05:00

Jennifer Aniston must love a headline.
That's if her recent cryptic chat about one of her exes is anything to go by.
The actress, who recently admitted she found dating hard, revealed on a talkshow that in the past, friends have told her that someone she's going out with is gay.
When she was asked on the Early Show: "Have you ever told a friend 'He's just not that into you?'" Jen joked:"No, I don't think I have. I think it's pretty clear that he is or isn't."
All fine, clear and understood. But then she adds:
"I have had people say, 'Honey, I think he's gay.'
"'What? But we get along so well,'" was apparently her reply.
Intriguing. We presume Jen is either being amusing or is talking about some ex that we've never heard of.

Tell us what you THINK???

Let's Talk About Sex, Tell Your Doctor if Your Gay

2009-02-05T08:16:00.001-05:00

Time to Tell Your Doctor!!!
Let’s talk about sex…
Why it’s vital to get personal with your doctor

The other day I had one angry married man on the phone that is pretending to be straight, allowing his wife to contract deadly diseases as he continues to practice unsafe sexual activities with his male undercover partners.

My client was outraged as he said, “Dennis, what goes on in my bedroom is none of my doctor’s &#@$ business.” I couldn’t disagree more. Sure, talking to your doctor about sex, particularly as a gay patient, can be embarrassing, but our sexuality is the primary basis for the differences in the heath care need of heterosexuals and gay people. Certainly, the ongoing AIDS crisis has taught us to be mindful of our health care concerns associated with sex. You would think? Not, as married, gay, men living in the closet. I am finding that more so-called heterosexual men are contacting me each and every day that practice unsafe sex. Research proves it. More men living on the (DL,) Down Low, or that are engaged in marriages to a wife are coming up positive. Doctors and researchers now know other ways in which our needs are unique; mental heath-as evidenced by the study from the Journal of Heath and Social Behavior. Special concern as well.

Just because you are wearing a wedding band and posing as straight, heterosexual, or what ever you justify it as, Does not mean you are not affected by this situation and actions that are associated with sexual behavior. Your wedding band does not help your Doctor!

I personally have a blast talking to my doctor about it. I must be blunt. If you do not feel comfortable sharing this with your doctor. He or she is not the one for you! Find a new (PCP,) primary care physician. NOW!

I use a female doctor at Colchester Internal Medicine, in CT. who I feel I can share the world with. Dr. Hylwa, knows my innermost darkest secrets. Isn’t that what the doctor is for? We personally have fun talking about the subject as she makes light of the situation. This is a good thing. Have fun with your Dr. and most of all be honest.

Knowledge is power, and it’s my goal to help arm you with that power. I’ll answer your health-related questions. If I don’t know the answers, I have the resources to find out.

Be Safe-
Best-selling Author of an Explosive and Controversial Memoir;
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

American Obsession with Masculinity

2009-02-04T05:47:00.002-05:00

American Obsession with Masculinity
Growing up as a gay man in American society a male child learns early on the obvious superior position the more masculine the male the higher social standing he will likely attain by it is sheer virtue. It is very clear that the masculine male athlete is considered of the highest social standing. How Americans worship their male athletes is the prime example of this hyper-masculine obsession within American culture.
Having traveled all over the world but most particularly I have noticed in most of the northern European countries there isn’t quite the masculine obsession. Being a gay man, all gay men know what “gay-dar” is. Some heterosexual people may even have heard this term but don’t understand quite what it means. It means having almost a sixth sense about who is gay. Gay men tend to have pretty good gaydar that is clearly a learned behavior that is generally quite accurate. This is solely, I believe due to the phenomenon of the American masculine obsession. This obsession actually causes men that are not masculine by nature to become masculine acting by practice. You see it in our own former president who is clearly acting out a hyper masculine image. Bush was clearly acting like an American cowboy hero, holding is arms further away from his body than need be to give the impression of his arms being to muscular and bulky to hold them closer to his body. This learned behavior stems from insecurity I believe. However, conversely one does not often see this behavior within most European cultures because they don’t seem to have the hyper-masculine worship that we Americans have.
Perhaps we have it because of the history of how our country was founded. The reason why I mentioned gaydar is because in Europe my gaydar does not work well because many of the European men by American standards act effeminate. It is not that they are effeminate, that is once again only relative to American cultural standards by how we were taught to measure masculinity. European men just walk, talk and act much more naturally and without giving thought to whether they are perceived as being masculine or feminine. This then translates into the fear of being considered gay. The issue of masculine/feminine ought to be considered a neutral issue within a healthy culture that is not fraught with fear about being considered gay or straight.
Gay men I have observed over my many years of being an out gay man have even bought into this American hyper-masculine worship. They will often try and act masculine, and will on chat lines make certain that the gay man they are talking to knows that they are the masculine type. Most of us, whether gay or straight are somewhere in the middle. However, many men will practice trying to be, on the masculine scale. This is truly an interesting phenomenon. This is likely partly the reason why athletes have trouble “coming-out” of the closet because they will lose much of their social standing and adoration. We as Americans need to be more concerned about our ethics, morals and social decay rather than being so concerned about the way we were born to behave and what actually comes naturally to us.

Brokeback Mountain: Now a Major Motion Picture

Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love

Androphilia: Rejecting the Gay Identity, Reclaiming Masculinity

"After years of living the lie of fierce heterosexuality in order to maintain his macho boy band image, former ‘NSync ladies man Lance Bass dropped a bombshell on everything we know about masculinity by revealing to People Magazine that he is actually gay. While we admire his courage and hope he is now able to live a happier life, many of us are still feeling a combination of shock, confusion and disillusionment. I mean, who’s next - Clay Aiken?"

Developing a Healthy Gay Relationship

2009-02-02T15:06:00.001-05:00

Developing a healthy Gay Relationship

Relationships can extend over many decades or they may only last one night. Unfortunately short-term is to norm as this is brought on partially due to the psychology of our subconscious mind.

When the spark of mutual passion does strike it can be wonderful. What started out as no-questions-asked sexual encounter can wind up transforming your life, giving you a loving companion who will share your highs and loves, your dreams and secrets. This can give your instant access to sexual satisfaction and allow you to explore the deeper levels of erotic experience. Having sex with someone you love is a qualitatively different experience from sex with a stranger whom you will probably never see again.

What do you see as an healthy gay relationship?
Ask Dennis Schleicher you questions???

Books that I recommend;

Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love

The Intimacy Dance: A Guide to Long-Term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships

Gay and Single...Forever?: 10 Things Every Gay Guy Looking for Love (and Not Finding It) Needs to Know

Research for Gay, Bisexual, Fathers at the University of Virginia

2009-01-30T02:47:00.004-05:00

Dear Dennis Schleicher,
My name is Samantha L. Tornello and I am currently working on a research project with Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson at the University of Virginia to study families headed by gay fathers. I am contacting you to ask if we could advertise our study on your group page and/or website. The study consists of an online survey and will take approximately 25- 35 minutes of each participant's time. To qualify for the study the participant would have to identify as male, a father, and gay, bisexual or homosexual and have at least one child of any age; this child can be biological, adopted, foster, step, or other child. A man does not need to be the child's legal parent to participate. This study has been approved by the University of Virginia IRB #2008-0407-00. The listing which has been approved for distribution is below (attached) for your review. If you have any questions or need further information please contact Samantha L. Tornello at GayDadsStudy@gmail.com or at (434) 243-8558. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Samantha L. Tornello, M.A.
University of Virginia
Graduate Student
http://sites.google.com/site/samanthatornello/
Listing: Are you a gay dad? Would you be willing to answer some confidential questions about your life and about your family? The purpose of this study is to examine the many ways families headed by gay fathers have been created, explore how families function, and learn about the relationship between partners. The study consists of an online survey and will take approximately 25- 35 minutes of your time. To qualify for the study you have to identify as male, a father, and gay, bisexual or homosexual and have a least one child of any age; this child can be biological, adopted, foster, step, or other child. You do not need to be the child's legal parent to participate. This study has been approved by the University of Virginia IRB #2008-0407-00, and I am working with Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson who is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia. If you and/or your partner are interested in participating or want further information please contact Samantha L. Tornello (Principal Investigator) via email GayDadsStudy@gmail.com. She will send you a web link that you can use to access the study. Thank you for your interest and I hope to hear about your family soon!
Sincerely, Samantha Tornello
Graduate Student
University of Virginia
(434) 243-8558
GayDadsStudy@gmail.com

Ted Haggard's Wife to Oprah: I Knew About Gay Desires

2009-01-29T00:27:00.000-05:00

Ted Haggard's Wife to Oprah: I Knew About Gay Desires
Gayle Haggard thought her husband Ted could control his sexual urges, but she was wrong. And the ramifications would put her family in the national spotlight.

Gayle, the wife of former Colorado New Life Church Pastor Ted Haggard, will tell Oprah Winfrey today that she knew about her husband’s same-sex struggles for years and had hoped he had a handle on things. But then, in 2006, their world came crashing down when a male prostitute came forward about a relationship with Haggard. "The first words out of my mouth were, ‘Who are you?’" she said, according to a publicity release issued Tuesday by Harpo Productions.

Adding to the Haggards’ lack of marital bliss is the news this week that Haggard also masturbated in front of a then-22-year-old church volunteer in 2005. The volunteer, Grant Haas, told KRDO in Colorado Springs that Haggard also sent him illicit text messages including "all kind of weird things, texting me about all the different sexual positions, practices he was engaging in and it was just really weird." The church and the man reached a settlement in 2007. Haas says he spoke out now to protest a new HBO documentary on Haggard. Haas says that film, directed by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s daughter, Alexandra, seems to paint Haggard as a victim, a label Haas simply couldn’t accept.

Why, you may wonder, would Haggard agree to such a project? "He talked to us because he had nothing to lose," Pelosi said. "He was down and out." But apparently Haggard isn’t too thrilled about the movie. He told the LA Times that he trusted his friend, Pelosi, not to invade his family’s privacy and he wasn’t comfortable with her using videotaped footage for the film. But Pelosi said she wanted to tell his side of the story, since the media did "a disservice" to him.
The documentary, "The Trials of Ted Haggard," premiers Thursday at 8 PM ET.

Books that we recommend;
by Dennis Schleicher
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

by Angelo Pezzote
Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love

Power of Fear Leading to Closeted Gay Bi Married Husbands

2009-01-28T20:33:00.001-05:00

Power of Fear Leading to Closeted Gay Bi Married Husbands
by Dennis Schleicher
Power of fear is at the basis of all negative emotions and actions. It is why we lie, why we argue and have to be right all the time. It’s the reason behind some people’s needs to be in control. It is the reason why people steal and the list goes on and on. Controlling people are just very fearful people. They may project a strong fearless front but that exactly what it is, it’s a front. They need to control their environment which generally plays out into their relationships as well because they become anxious or fearful if they things are not within their comfort zone. I believe by knowing this about people it can empower you because you are likely actually stronger and less fearful than they are in reality. Fear is the reason also of course why people choose to go into the closet, get married, developed a family or a house with a white picket fence in the SUV parked in the driveway and parked next to our BMW’s otherwise referred to as status symbols.

A quote from chapter two of my memoir, “Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries,” “typically, most children are brought up in a society where finding love in the opposite sex is bred into them. They are taught to start a courtship, which will eventually lead to marriage and later on, children, a house with a white picket fence, a dog, an SUV and a double income family.”

Fearing that we may lose the love and companionship that all humans need for healthy emotional survival on many levels, because society has deemed this so. I believe it is a healthy and productive exercise to whenever you are feeling dis-ease or discomfort to know that it is about fear. Therefore it is important that we take the time and trace back through our thoughts what it is that we are in fear of that is causing this discomfort. Generally what we fear is the not knowing of the outcome of a circumstance which is again why gay people generally go into the closet at least at first. Some obviously for longer periods and end up following social expectations and marry causing more victims of our fears. Being fearful can lead us to be deceptive and dishonest in our communications with others, leading to closeted gay Bi married men.

The most unfortunate issue about this is, we then don’t really have truly open hearted, rich and fulfilling relationships with people leaving us lonely in our private thoughts. It is when we interact with people using our hearts we become less fearful and have more joyful lives. Leave the brain to math, science and technology when it comes to matters of relationships. Use your heart openly and without fear as best you can. It takes practice.

Most generally what we fear as I stated is the consequence of what may happen if I were truthful. The consequence is almost never as bad as we expect it to be. We need to ask ourselves what is our greatest fear if I am honest. What is the very worst thing that can happen we need to ask ourselves? Can we then survive the consequence of being truthful about our true selves and our true thoughts? The answer to that is, of course we can survive. There may be a period of discomfort. Even serious discomfort but we will survive. People that choose suicide rather than being truthful about their true selves are choosing a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

It is also a self act because it leaves the survivors unable to heal because they will always wonder what they could have done differently to prevent the tragedy. Always remember is not always necessary to be right. To we want peace or to we want to be right? Pick your battles carefully and use civility throughout the conflict resolution process. Never name call. That is about control which is another word for fear. Our fear in conflicts in not being right is generally about looking or feeling foolish. You actually look more foolish by maintaining that you are right when it’s obvious that you are not and you are being foolish if it is a silly disagreement anyway. Be true to yourself and you will then be able to be true to others. For those of you that cannot build up the courage to come out to those you love and are a integral part of your lives you are cheating yourself and them of really knowing each other’s hearts and souls. When you are out you will not have to edit you life anymore which is not only demeaning but exhausting. Your true self has just as much value as anyone. So come on people. Start asking yourself some of these questions. You can handle the outcome of the truth when it is revealed I promise.
Be Safe-
Dennis J. Schleicher
For more information refer to my book,
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
"It is almost like listening to a conversation that you are not supposed to be hearing." -- Johanna, Psychologist, Bostn, MA.

Another phenomenal book that I recommend is by a good friend and psychotherapist Angelo Pezzote; Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love
Tell us your story by posting your comments below;

What is Self-homophobia = Low Self-Esteem

2009-01-27T14:01:00.009-05:00

What is Self-homophobia = Low Self-Esteem
By Dennis Schleicher
Self-homophobia arise form a number of situations. Manifesting from behavior in our guilt of relationships as it might result in hurtful thoughts and feelings towards gays or from our own guilt associated with being gay. Whatever its origin self homophobia as both nonsexual and sexual manifestations, I find these particularly true in married-gay men that are caught secretly living a double life. Ultimately, not being true to the ones they love, which trickles down the chain to themselves. This results in forms of self-destructive time-wasting that forces us away from the task of finding a partner. This can demoralize us, which will lead to a sense of failure, and more Self-homophobia. What exactly is Self-homophobia, warning signs that health care professionals could be looking for;
• Excessive guilt about your anger.
• Excessive guilt about your sexuality.
• Fear and rage toward gays.
• Excessive denial about sexuality in general.
• Not willing to accept yourself and others.
You should understand when it is time to seek professional help as you are suffering from prolonged or any kind of depression that is:
• Making you feel suicidal.
• Keeping you from forming new relationships.
• Robbing you much enjoyment in life.
• Causing you to act self-destructive in Anyway.
Ultimately, the diagnosis must come from your doctor or therapist professionals. Please feel free to post your comments and opinions below.
Be safe,
Recommended Books on the Subject;

Fed up with the Fact that Men have a Shorter Shelf Life than Sushi?

2009-01-25T23:39:00.002-05:00

Finding, let alone building, a strong relationship can still be challenging for gay men. The reason? Masculinity. All men, gay or straight, have been socialized to believe that to be overtly gay is unmanly and shameful. To compensate, many gay men adopt a macho, "straight acting" pose that blocks them from being their full selves, expressing their true feelings and forging real, lasting connections.
Because of this I am making “Straight Acting,” by Angelo Pezzote my Book-of-the-Month recommendation. Feel free to post your comments and reviews below;
In Straight Acting, Angelo Pezzote (AskAngelo.com) encourages readers to go beyond limiting ideas of how "real" men should behave, and leave behind out-dated ways of being that create stumbling blocks to deeper intimacy. Drawing on his years of experience as a gay psychotherapist and advice columnist, he offers practical and thoughtful relationship strategies, with tips on subjects that include coming out, dating, how to avoid falling for a player, how to maintain a sizzling, satisfying sex life, navigating open relationships, and much more. Most of all, he delivers crucial insights on the importance of ditching the macho act and learning to be true to yourself. Whether you're single and sick of it, wanting to move closer to your partner, or wondering how to meet someone for the very first time, let Angelo show you how to get real and get him. Put yourself out there to get--and keep--the love you want.

Urge your legislators to support marriage and transgender equality‏

2009-01-24T15:50:00.000-05:00

In the next few weeks we expect to see a bill introduced in the legislature that would codify* the Kerrigan Supreme Court marriage ruling and clean up some of the discriminatory language that still exists in our state laws.
Perhaps as early as next month we will also see a bill introduced that would make it illegal to discriminate against transgender people in employment, housing and other areas.
As always, it will be important for legislators to hear from their constituents that they support both marriage equality and transgender rights.
Contact your state senator and state representative and urge their support for LGBT equality!
https://secure2.convio.net/lmafoc/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=227

Please take one minute (longer if you want to personalize the email) and make your voice heard.
Many thanks,
Anne Stanback
Executive Director
* While the legislature is not required to codify (i.e. write into state statute) the Connecticut Supreme Court’s marriage ruling for it to be legal, a bill passed by the legislature and signed by the Governor will make it absolutely clear to all concerned that we can put this issue to rest.

Love Makes a Family is a statewide non-profit working for equal marriage rights for same-sex couples in Connecticut. We carry out our mission through community education, grassroots organizing, and legislative advocacy and lobbying.
Love Makes A Family;
http://www.lmfct.org/
Fell Free to tell us what you think???

Prayers For BOBBY

2009-01-23T16:38:00.000-05:00

About Prayers for BobbyAcademy Award nominee and Golden Globe winner Sigourney Weaver stars in this emotional true story about a 1970s religious suburban housewife and mother who struggles to accept her young son Bobby being gay. What happens to Bobby is tragic and causes Mary to question her faith; ultimately this mom changes her views in ways that she never could have imagined. Also starring: Ryan Kelley ("Mean Creek"), Henry Czerny ("The Tudors"), Dan Butler ("Frasier"), Susan Ruttan ("L.A. Law"), Austin Nichols ("John From Cincinnati"), Carly Schroeder ("Mean Creek"), Scott Bailey ("Guiding Light"), and newcomers Shannon Eagen and Rebecca Louise Miller. Based on the book “Prayers for Bobby” by Leroy Aarons.
Premieres January 24 at 9 pm et/pt
DIRECTOR: Russell Mulcahy
SCREENWRITER: Katie Ford
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Stanley M. Brooks
David Permut
Daniel Sladek
Chris Taaffe
Tell us what you think???

Sean Penn in MILK, a Film Review that Hits Home

2009-01-21T01:44:00.003-05:00

The Mayor of Castro Street, The Life & Times of Harvey Milk.

Milk
Movie review by Dennis Schleicher

Did this hit home as I sat in silence, witnessing history on the screen. Learning about the assassination of Harvey Milk 10 years prior to my brutal gay bashing that occurred in my public school. As Sean Penn plays Harvey Milk.

The story of the New Yorker who moved to San Francisco, wins election to the city supervisor, fights and proposition that would have banned gays from teaching in California schools, Gus Van Sant’s Milk packs a punch a bit too timely to be comfortable.

Although Milk’s assassination in 1978 at the hands of a suicidal, Twinkied-up political rival is Harvey’s defining image, Van Sant doesn’t focus on the tragedy, instead revealing the man behind the speeches, his close clique of supporters and lovers.

As an expert in married gay man secretly living a double lifestyle. I seriously question the politician that committed the assassination. I question his own sexuality, as I believe he was posing as “straight” with the family. I.e., wife, children etc, hiding as straight confused and struggling with his own sexual identity, which allowed his violent rage to commit the assassination on Harvey Milk. What do you think???

Result in this moving, intimate film, told through expertly woven, vintage footage and a well-written script as it shows the rise of the Castro district in an elite section of San Francisco always known as the gay section.

Sean Penn, delivers one of his finest performances in his career as a real star, unsurprisingly, is Milk himself. Watching him deliver Milk's speeches in front of thousands almost makes you forget that you are in a theater as if you’re witnessing this 1978 revolution unfolds, that is sure to land Penn an Oscar.

A quote taken from Genre Magazine, “You cannot live on hope alone. But without it life is not worth living.”

My question to you is 30 years later do you believe that times have really changed???

Post your comments below;

Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries by Dennis Schleicher

2008-10-10T15:56:00.009-04:00

Brokeback Mountain and On the Downlow revealed new aspects of the hidden world of “gay married men” But now, for the first time, a book has been published by the “Other Man” which should serve as a wake-up call to millions of women whose husbands are secretly living a bisexual/gay life. Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries, written by Dennis Schleicher, age 34, reveals every woman’s greatest nightmare, namely her husband’s meeting another man on the computer resulting in sexual encounters. What starts out as a whimsical mistaken click of a mouse replying to a personal ad posted by a married man on a gay Internet site, ends up as a torrid relationship with Schleicher struggling with the moral triangular dilemma of falling in love with someone else’s husband and breaking up a marriage.
This memoir includes actual daily e-mails and correspondence between Schleicher, the author, and Byron, his lover who is in the midst of a 14-year marriage to a woman. The personal journal explores the naivety and hope of the author convinced by the promises of a future with a man he believes to be his soulmate. Even knowing that his lover is living a lie when they meet, Schleicher is sure that Byron will leave his wife after confessing to her his love and desire to live with another man. However, there is still a nagging doubt that his lover will he be trapped in his own insecurities and not be able to make the “switch.” In the end, does Schleicher have the man he’s been hoping for, or does he end up being a victim, like the wife, of a man playing a dangerous game?
Dennis Schleicher is a Regional Sales Manager, representing a multimillion-dollar territory within the professional beauty industry. In 1990 at the age of 17, he was launched into national prominence appearing on television talk shows including “Larry King Live,” where he revealed the brutalities he faced during a violent gay bashing in his public high school. Dennis currently resides in Glastonbury, Connecticut, where he has started a support group for gay men looking to leave their marriages by giving support to them while at the same time giving resources to their wives during the husbands’ coming out process. His book, Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries is available through www.Authorhouse.com. ISBN: 1425944264 or through any bookstore and Amazon.com

20 Things to Consider before Coming out

2008-08-08T08:28:00.000-04:00

20 Things to Consider before Coming out

By Dennis J. Schleicher
http://www.honestopinion.us/

Coming out is a lifelong process. It is also a very big, brave and lifelong decision. Here are some things to consider before coming out.

Be clear about your own feelings about being gay. If you are still dealing with a lot of guilt or depression, seek professional help in getting over that before coming out to parents or other non-gay people. If you are comparable with your own gayness, those to whom you come out to will often see that fact and be aided in their own renewed acceptance to you.

Timing can be very important in coming out. Be aware of the health, mood, priorities and problems of those with whom you would like to share your sexuality. The mid-life crisis of parents, the relationship problems of friends, the business concerns of employers and countless other factors over which you have no control can affect another's receptivity to your information.

Never come out during an argument. Never use coming out as a weapon. Never encourage parents to feel guilty for having “caused” your sexual orientation --because they didn't. As I always say “being gay is not a choice being honest about is a choice.”

When coming out to parents or family tried to affirm mutual caring and loving before launching into your announcements about your gay or lesbian life.

Be prepared that your revelation may surprise, anger or upset other people, at first. Try not to react angrily or defensively. Tried to let other people be honest about their initial feelings even if they are not negative. Remember that the initial reaction will not likely be a long-term one. Ultimately, the individuals who have really faced and dealt with their homophobia may be far more supportive than those who gave an immediate but superficial expression of support.

Emphasize that you are still the same person. You were gay yesterday, and we'll be gay tomorrow. If you were responsible and caring yesterday, likewise, you will be loving and responsible tomorrow.

Keep lines of communication open with people after you, how to them -- even if their response is negative. Respond to their questions and remember that they are probably in the process of reexamining the math and stereotypes about gay people which we all have learned from our culture.

Be sure that you are well informed about homosexuality both the pros and cons as there's many great things and being “out,” there's many negative things to consider as well call it is a fact your employment, family members, children, and old friends. Within the gay culture. It tends to be much cattiness which I associate to societal upbringing or a lack of education within the community. Both straight and gay.

Read some good books about the subject and share them with individuals to whom you have come out.

Encourage your parents or others to whom you come out to meet some of your lesbian and gay friends.

Remember that it takes many gay men and lesbians are very long time to come to terms with their own sexuality, and even longer to decide to share. The fact with others. When you come out to non-gay people, be prepared to give them time to adjust and to comprehend the new information about you. Don't expect immediate acceptance. Look for ongoing, caring dialogue.

If you are rejected by someone to whom you have come out. Do not lose sight of their own self worth remember that you're coming out was a guest of sharing an important part of yourself, which that person has chosen to reject. If rejection does come, consider whether the relationship was really worthwhile. Is any relationship so important that it must continue an atmosphere of dishonesty and hiding? Was the person really your friend or simply a friend of someone he or she imagined you to be?

This will be your true test as to who your real friends are. Prepare yourself for a shift amongst friends. Some will be overly supportive, while others might as well be left behind as the wind blows through.

Remember also that the loss of a friend is not the end of the world. Coming-out discussions must be made cautiously, but integrity and self-respect are extremely important in the long run.

A casual or offhand approach often works best in the work mates and relatives. Sometimes a conversational situation can be avoided simply by being honest and conversational way, about whom you live with and date, and how you may spend your leisure time. The other person is given a chance to recognize circumstances of your life and to admit to your homosexuality without being obligated to make some immediate response on this issue.

Remember that the decision to come out is yours. Don't be guilt-trapped into it by people who think that everyone must come out or by snooping people who ask important questions. You can usually decide when, where, how, and to whom you wish to come out. At this stage in our society, full public declarations about one's sexuality are not necessarily the best decision for most people. Often times the gay culture wants everyone to be “Outed.” Not necessarily the best decision to make based on society pressures. There are many other emotions to take into consideration, which is why I believe it's best to seek professional advice on developing a prudent roadmap. Almost like developing a business plan or a proposal. We're launching a new concept at a shareholders meeting.

Trying not to let your family and close friends find out about your gayness from third parties such as neighbors or the media. Try to tell them personally before hand.

Whenever you come out, reflect upon the experience and learn from. I always find it is therapeutic to keep a journal as years later, you can reflect on your life's journeys.

Never let yourself be pressured into coming out before you are ready.

Coming out is one of the most difficult things we do in our lives. It is not for everyone! It won't always go well, but most of the time it is a very freeing experience. Be sure you have a network of positive friends and/or support groups that you can turn to for advice, use as a sounding board during the ups and downs. Use friends who will want to support your positive experience during the coming out process. Just remember you're not alone, all is well…

Be Safe-
Dennis Schleicher

1) For more information on coming--out, please refer to my book. "Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries"

2) “Why Gay Men Do What They Do,” By Aaron J. Silver

3) “The Velvet Rage” by Alan Downs

Your Honest Opinions - Index

2007-09-25T13:38:00.003-04:00

Your Honest Opinions - Index