By Dennis Schleicher
This is now my 5th year working with Gay husbands, straight wives of gay men, and guys in love with gay married men, (The Other Man.) The difficulty gay men married men have sustaining serious, long-term romantic partnerships through the years that have kept many gay, or so-called Bi men in the closed form coming out as ‘gay.’ Up against society's prejudice against homosexual love, I have observes, they've separated sex and love form their wives. As adolescents, gay men suffered the rejection of unrequited affection, but most formatively, they sustained emotional damage in childhood from paternal rejection and/or maternal inattentiveness to their feelings or disregard for their need for autonomy. The result is an inability to fall or stay in love, arising from deep-seated anxiety about dependency, lack of self-love and mistrust of another's love that leads to gay, Bi, men feel and think that getting married to a women ‘will make them straight guys with wives.’
In the past 5 years I’ve analyzes dozens of case histories of chronically married gay male patients, tracing their attachment difficulties to childhood experiences with remote, rejecting or smothering parents. Though my married men’s support group being homosexual, weighs in on the same-sex marriage debate with the fear of coming out. Secondary argument—that the lack of a formally sanctioned structure further undermines gay commitment of a gay husband holds a real fear a complicated, cultural analysis will be frustrated.
The gay husbands will never find by his own reasoning the important emphasis on happiness found in a gay long term, loving relationships that can existed. The long term difficulty is the truth for any gay husband that will never come out of the closet and his mental health will be compromised for life as he lives a life of lies and dishonesty.
It is never too late to break free form a straight wife and let her free as you can find a romantic, loving gay relationship with no shame.
Be Safe-
Dennis
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries (Best-selling author of an explosives and controversial memoir )
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